Beardhead Stubble Rider ($20 @ Amazon.com)
Disclaimer: You’re going to need the right personality to rock this one, and even then, people might not get it. Screw those guys, though — this brimmed beanie with a detachable “short beard” will help protect your skin against frigid temperatures, and cover that grotesque soul patch you refuse to shave. Like we said, screw the haters … but seriously, shave that thing.
