The 10 Worst Wizards Ever
The wizard from Oz the Great and Powerful is a hack who abandons young girls in strange places. And he’s not even the worst wizard on our list.
By Mike Schuster
The new movie Oz The Great and Powerful finally gives us the answer to an old question literally dozens of people around the world have been asking — how did some old bozo with a microphone and a curtain become such a powerful “wizard” in Oz? Well, turns out he wasn’t always so old; when he landed in Oz, he was actually about James Franco’s age. (In case you haven’t figured it out, Oz the Great and Powerful is a prequel of sorts to The Wizard of Oz.)
Revisiting the wizard of Oz got us thinking about other dumb wizards, and it turns out there’s a whole slew of them. Is slew the proper term for a bunch of dumb wizards? Or is it flock? Pride? Or maybe school, as in Hogwarts? And before you get your Quidditch robes in a bunch, no, we’re not going to list Harry Potter. Probably.
1. The Wizard of Oz | The Wizard of Oz
This eponymous wizard, an all-powerful being who can purportedly solve all your problems, is revealed to be an old coot behind a curtain playing with a a PA system. And once his cover is blown, the guy can’t even pull together a decent lie. But worst of all, the Wizard admits he doesn’t even know how a hot air balloon works, then cheerfully abandons Dorothy — the one person able to rid Oz from the clutches of the Wicked Witch of the West — to rot in Oz forever. Dick move, Wizard.
2. Thomas Edison | “The Wizard of Menlo Park”
Edison was a businessman and inventor who held more than 1,000 U.S. patents. Also, he was a gigantic prick. When he wasn’t creating ways to electrocute elephants to discredit fellow inventor Nikola Tesla — who was clearly cooler, since he was subsequently portrayed on film by David Bowie — Edison was stealing patents, reneging on employee wages, and paying off his son to change his last name. But hey, he invented the light bulb. Oh wait … actually, he didn’t.