Some rom-coms are tolerable. Like … maybe five of them, ever. Sleepless in Seattle (arguably) falls into that category. It’s no When Harry Met Sally, but it has some funny lines, and since Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan don’t even really speak to each other till the last minute of the movie, it doesn’t get too horrifically sappy.
So, since this is the 20th anniversary of Sleepless in Seattle’s release, and since it’s a relatively guy-friendly rom-com, we were reminded of some of the legitimately useful lessons it taught us about dating, women, and relationships.
1. If you get all of your relationship advice from radio call-in shows, you’re probably bad at relationships.
2. If you fall in love with someone after simply hearing his or her voice on the radio, you’re probably bad at relationships. And rather unfit to be a stepparent to that person’s child.
3. A good guy can overcome a bad haircut.
4. If her friends don’t like you, you’re screwed.
5. If his kid doesn’t like you, it’ll be a pain in the ass, but you can still manage.
6. But you should still do whatever you can to win over the little brat.
7. Chicks dig houseboats.
8. The perfect woman does not exist. Unless she’s the dead mom in a rom-com. Then she’ll be remembered as being basically perfect.
9. The less attractive friend? Often way less of a head case than the more attractive friend.
10. Call-in show relationship “doctors” in movies give way better advice than actual call-in show relationship “doctors.”
11. If you’re a single dad, it’s okay to use your kid to get laid within reason.
12. Engagements are broken off much, much, much easier in movies than they are in real life.
13. If you have allergies and/or make corny jokes, do not watch this movie with your lady.
14. Instead, watch An Affair To Remember.
15. Women love sensitive dudes — depending on what it is they’re being all sensitive about.
16. A woman probably won’t show up if you suggest meeting across the country at the top of a P.F. Chang’s.
17. It would have been nice if they’d met at the top of a volcano, just for old time’s sake.
18. Long-distance stalking is a helluva lot easier now than it was in 1993.
19. If your Christmas gift to your dad is his dream woman, you pretty much never have to give the Old Man a gift again.
20. Tom Hanks is a depressed widower in Seattle who yells at his son about his own desire to get laid while simultaneously allowing his son to be alone in his bedroom with young girls, but who happens to be somewhat unattainable. Bill Pullman is an incredibly faithful and understanding fiancee in Baltimore with a good job. Guess who gets the girl in the end.