25 Things Lethal Weapon Taught Us

In honor of the 25th anniversary of Lethal Weapon, we’re breaking down 25 life lessons we learned from Murtaugh and Riggs.

By Zack Zeigler

Lethal Weapon ModernMan.com

Say what you will about Mel Gibson’s behavior in the years since the film — and about his hair style in the film — but Lethal Weapon is (arguably) the greatest buddy cop movie ever made. After all, it has all 11 elements of a great buddy cop movie: Action, humor, drugs, nudity, helicopters, explosions, double-crosses, rain-slicked nighttime streets, saxophones, guitars, and Gary Busey.

It also has plenty of lessons to impart. And so to honor the first time Detectives Martin Riggs (Gibson) and Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) teamed up, we’ve put together a list of the things Lethal Weapon taught us and continues to teach us. After all, we’ll never be too old for this shit.

Lethal Weapon: Gary Busey1. Coke dealers who moonlight as Christmas-tree salesmen are extraordinarily careless.

2. Never insult the cooking of your partner’s wife if you also admit that you crave bullets for breakfast.

3. 50-year-old dudes can still kick ass.

4. Cops don’t always dress like cops. Sometimes they dress like accountants and homeless truckers.

5. The Three Stooges eye poke actually works sometimes.

6. If someone says he’s crazy, he probably isn’t crazy. Probably.

7. Any and all comments about the sex life of your partner’s underage daughter cross the line.

8. Accusing someone of being from “_____ ‘R Us” is a lazy insult.

9. One should always execute a textbook triangle-choke hold whenever the opportunity presents itself.

10. Hollow-point bullets make great Christmas gifts.

11. Old-timey cops carry Smith & Wesson Magnums. Aging-punk-rocker cops carry Beretta 9mms.

12. Sometimes you have to trust people you don’t want to have to trust.

13. Aim for the legs if you still need to question someone. Otherwise you shoot to kill and get as many of them as you can.

14. Bad guys prefer to conduct their electric shock torture sessions in the shower.

Lethal Weapon: Mel Gibson15. Pretty much any dude looks tougher with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

16. If someone was formerly in a special-operations unit called “Shadow Company,” he A) owns at least two guns, and B) shoots first and asks questions later.

17. Always refer to a drug dealer’s drugs as “merchandise” in order to keep the proceedings civil.

18. Head-butts hurt only the buttee, never not the butter.

19. Suicidal maniacs love Looney Tunes.

20. Prostitutes are humorless.

21. If people think you’re lying, stare at them creepily and speak in a low growl. They’ll change their mind.

22. Use both shampoo and conditioner if you want silky hair that shines.

23. To get a sniper to acknowledge you, refer to him as “Mister Sniper, sir.”

24. If you steal a car, steal an Audi.

25. If LAPD officers accidentally let a suspect drown in a pool, their appropriate response is “Oops.”

TAGS: action movies, guy movies, Lethal Weapon, Mel Gibson

 

Post a comment:

Travis Lindsay (Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:37:01 +0000): You forgot an important one! 26. " They F#CK YOU at the drive-thru, okay? They F#CK YOU at the drive-thru! They know you're going to be miles away before you find out you got f#cked! They know you're not going to turn around and go back! "
Zachary Chick (Fri, 09 Mar 2012 20:26:42 +0000): Yeah but I learned about "Diplomatic immunity" from LW2. We need another list!

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