Two and a half decades ago, an outlandish movie contemplated the private takeover of municipal law enforcement in a Detroit that had turned into a desolate warzone. What’s the outlandish part, you ask? That as a result, the world was given a new breed of cop. A “RoboCop,” if you will. And if you won’t, too damned bad, because the movie was called RoboCop and if you were between the ages of 8 and 17 in 1987, it gave you a sci-fi stiffy all summer.
The movie was a gritty, gory, and at times gut-busting meditation on unhindered corporate greed, utter urban failure, and terrible fashion choices. It was visionary. It was subversive. And since it was so amazing, Hollywood has of course decided to reboot the franchise in an attempt to ruin it. We’re sure they’ll succeed, but before they do we’re looking at what the old RoboCop taught us …
1. Detroit is a lawless hellscape run by corrupt officials and bloodthirsty, well-armed criminals … wait, we already knew that.
2. Notorious Detroit-area gangster Clarence Boddicker invented the hipster scarf.
3. Paul Verhoeven made “Clarence” a badass name six years before Quentin Tarantino did.
4. “Boner” is a hilarious name to call your boss if you’re an insubordinate subordinate.
5. “Buddy boy” is a stupid name to call your insubordinate subordinate if you’re his boss.