2. Skyrush | Hersheypark, Hershey, PA
(Skip to 2:19 in the video for a virtual ride.) The newest attraction at the unfortunately named Hersheypark boasts the country’s only “winged” roller coaster seat design — the end seats in each row flare out, dangling riders over the abyss — and a 200-foot drop. There are also four high-speed turns and zero-G “airtime” hills, which are sure to prove that the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup shake with Twizzler garnish was an extremely poor pre-ride choice.
3. The Verbolten | Busch Gardens, Williamsburg, VA
Roller coasters often have scary themes that further enhance your giddy sense of dread as you wait on line for three g*ddamned hours. Well, Busch Gardens has come up with the most terrifying roller coaster theme of all time — Germans. Yes, the Verbolten whisks you down a roller coaster-ized version of Germany’s famous Autobahn, then deep into the fabled Black Forest, then over an 88-foot precipice into the Rhine River, followed immediately by aggressive troop movement into Czechoslovakia. Okay, we may have made up last one.