5 Reasons Why You Should Date a Cat Lady
We asked a cat lady to tell us why cat ladies make great girlfriends — and shockingly, she did it without making a single pussy joke.
By Katy Lindenmuth
Oh, so a woman you just went out with for the first time has a cat? Bummer, bro! That means she’s a virtual shut-in who enjoys the company of animals more than the company of people. And that she’s super uptight and emotionally needy. Also, her entire house no doubt smells vaguely tuna-esque. Right?
WRONG. (Well, except for the tuna smell, that’s kind of true.) In reality, I’ll bet she’s pretty awesome. Here’s why:
1. SHE WON’T MANIPULATE YOU
Pet personality researchers — believe it or not, they exist — have found that cat owners tend to be, among other desirable things, straightforward and trusting. It makes sense: If a cat is hungry, he waits by his food dish; if he’s pissed, he lunges. No bitching, sulking, or mind games, which is a perfect match for his owner’s no-nonsense disposition. So if you want a tease, hit up the dog park. If you want a woman who won’t leave you guessing, hang out in the sticks-with-sparkly-feathers-tied-to-them aisle at PetSmart.
2. SHE’S ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF EMOTIONALLY
Don’t like to talk, hear, or think about feelings? You’re off the hook! (Okay, not really, but stay with me.) A girl and her kitteh have a deep emotional bond; their days are filled with hours of snuggles and whispers and smooches. Trust me, it can get pretty intense. Those pet personality researchers have described cat owners as “obliging, modest, and good sports.” In other words, fairly laid back. So even a relatively emotionally, uh, demanding woman won’t need constant reassurance and nonstop comforting, because she’ll get some of that from her cat.
3. SHE RESPECTS ALONE TIME
Have you hung out with a cat one-on-one lately? They’re pretty fucking independent. Outside of — or possibly because of — the emotional bonding time described above, cats make themselves available only when their busy schedule of napping and butt-licking allows, or when your warm computer keyboard compels them to lay on top of it while you’re trying to get work done. And their owners come to respect that, which means they’ll be far more likely to respect your need for alone time as well.
4. SHE’S SMART
People who own cats are likely more intelligent. This isn’t because your IQ skyrockets the second you bring a furball home, though that would be awesome. A 2010 study actually showed that cat owners are more likely to have college degrees, and are more likely to work longer hours in more demanding jobs. And a cat fits that lifestyle better than a Stage 5 Clinger puppy.
5. SHE’S NOT A NEAT FREAK
No science needed for this one, you just need to walk into the home of someone who owns a cat. A thin layer of fur on all of her worldly possessions? Check! That tuna-esque scent wafting throughout her house that I already mentioned? Check! A box of excrement in her living room? Check! So there’s approximately a zero percent chance she’ll be pissed when you leave a wet towel on the bathroom floor. (Try it!)