5 Ways To Fix A Struggling Relationship
If your relationship has hit the skids but you’re not ready to throw in the towel, getting it back on track might not take as much effort as you’d think.
By JL Scott
If you’ve committed adultery or have a secret love child (no judgment here, Mr. Schwarzenegger), let’s just call it a wash and admit it’s over. For everyone else stuck in a floundering relationship, there are ways to fix a relationship or at least provide enough cushion so you can get to a place where you’re addressing the real issues.
Oddly enough, it’s not major stuff that causes the majority of split-ups. A recent study found that the most common cause of divorces in the U.S. is “lack of commitment,” with “arguing” following close behind.
On paper, not committing and arguing may sound like signs a couple is headed for trouble. But in reality, it’s not that simple. According to experts, lack of commitment has more shades of grey than a certain BDSM-based tome — maybe it’s choosing a buddy’s bachelor party instead of her family reunion. Or never seriously having the “I do (or don’t) want kids.” conversation. Then there’s the whole you won’t put a ring on it until she makes you 300 gourmet sandwiches. (Some dude seriously said that.)
And arguing’s the same: A spat over who’s supposed to clean the bathroom, week in and week out, can create the initial crack that leads to joint custody of your puggle. So how do you keep your relationship safe? Here, five expert-approved ways.
#1. START FIGHTING CLEAN AND ABOVE THE BELT
Fights are going to crop up from time to time. The key to fighting clean is to focus on the present situation. “Bringing up past disagreements, using words like “always” or “never,” or making it sound like her behavior is inevitable turns into a personal attack,” explains Lisa Baher, a marriage and family therapist in Newport Beach, California.
And if you tell a women she’s acting “crazy” or like her mom, expert her to Hulk up and get super angry. And you won’t like her when she’s super angry. Trust me.