6 Female Criminals Who Deserve Shows

From idiotic bank robbers to coke-slinging murders, these stories could piggyback the success of Orange is the New Black.

By Max Bakke

LAVINA FISHER
Name of show: Late Checkout

Fisher is considered the first female serial killer in America. And the fact that her story takes place in the 1800s does us a few favors. Since most of us slept through history class, we can make historical shit up and focus on the killing and the comedy. Yes, the show is part comedy.

Also: 10 Serial Killers Who Get No Respect

Anyway, Fisher and her husband ran a hotel north of Charleston, South Carolina, back the early 1800s. No word as to whether they placed Andes mints on the pillows, but we know they did have their own special gift in store lucky patrons — poisoning and robbing them! Legend has it the Fishers may have even dropped sleeping guests into a spiky pit under the bed. Since nobody bothered to use Yelp back then, it was a total surprise to drop-ins.

All of the murderous fun ended when one of their marks escaped, leading to the couple’s arrest and execution. Our show would be a hybrid between Bates Motel and The Jaimie Foxx Show. Midway throughs the first season Fisher would dump her husband — meaning, cut off his head with a butter knife — and then shack up with H.H. Holmes, who is labeled America’s first serial killer. He was also a hotel owner who lured people to his hotel and then used his torture chambers and killing rooms to kill them.

Oh how the two wild and crazy murderers would slay their guests (and the audience!) with their antics, as they offer all of those who stay with them a complimentary late checkout. Heyoooo!

TAGS: comedy, crime, criminals, horror films, sitcoms, TV series, women

 

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