7 Things You Should Never Say to a Cop

Page 1 of 5


Never Say These Things To A Cop

The best thing you can do when you’re approached by a police officer is being polite and honest. You’ve got nothing to hide, right?  goes a long way. And so long as you stay calm, you should be fine. As far as giving an ID goes, it’s tricky. With the semi-police state, we’re moving toward thanks to President Orange, police can easily cite “reasonable suspicion” and make your life more difficult if you fail to present an ID (although in a free society there is no rule about having to carry one). With that being said, here are the things you should avoid saying at all costs …

“I pay your salary.”

Cops are public officials that get paid by tax dollars, but this does not make them indebted to you personally — regardless if you really did stop at that stop sign or weren’t lying when you told him/her that you set the cruise control. You trying to pull rank on the officer by essentially saying you’re his/her boss only ensures that you’ll be cut no breaks.

“Why me? How come you didn’t pull that guy over?”

Yeah, we know the speed racer in the yellow Civic was going faster than you were, but the cop caught you. Too bad. Asking why you were singled out doesn’t make you any less guilty of an infraction (if you were guilty, which may not be the case). And it’s not like the cop is going to say, “Wow, you’re right! I gotta hop in my car and chase after them before they get away. Did you happen to see the plates?” Instead, keep your trap shut and listen up. Doing that may provide you with a hole or avenue to travel down that leads to you getting let off without having to pay a fine.

“Do you know who I am?”

It’s bad enough when an idiot celebrity tries to pull this when a bouncer won’t let them past the door, but when you say it to a cop there’s a strong chance that your status won’t make any difference. This includes, “Don’t you know who my father is?” and the old standby, “I know NAME of SOME PERSON, who’s also in law enforcement…” Don’t bother. It’s embarrassing and, depending on how many other assholes the cop had a run-in with that day, might make him/her more prone to issue you a summons for more loot.