8 Terrible Santas In Christmas Movies
You’d better watch out and you may want to cry, because these Christmas-movie Santas are drunks, criminals, and even … *gulp* … Hulk Hogan.
By Michael Irons
Generally speaking, no Christmas movie is complete without someone dressing up like Santa Claus and either spreading holiday cheer or getting seriously hurt for comic effect. But then there are those few Christmas movies in which the person in the Santa suit is kind of the bad guy. Maybe he’s a small-time drug dealer. Or an alcoholic thief and pervert. Or he’s an emaciated claymation monster-type dude. Whatever the case, they manage to tarnish the otherwise sterling reputation of a fat loner who breaks into millions of homes every year.
1. STORE SANTA CLAUS | A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983)
Listen, we get it: Sitting in a crowded store all day wearing a stupid red suit and itchy fake beard as brats are tossed into your lap so that they can either scream bloody murder to let everyone in the place know that they think you’re a terrifying creep or command you to bring them a bunch of crap is no picnic. But you probably shouldn’t boot those kids in the face.
2. POT-DEALER SANTA | A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (2011)
Although he had top-notch marijuana for sale — Winter Wonder Weed, Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer, It’s A Weederful Life — a mall Santa probably shouldn’t be selling drugs out of the trunk of his car. Instead, he should sell them out of the back of a sleigh. Stay in character, jerk!