Alcohol provides the world oh so many positives: Ugly people get better looking, bad dancers have moves like Justin Timberlake, and all of the bills, anxiety, and worries of everyday life seem to fade when you’re blackout drunk. Unfortunately, boozing also translates to drunk driving, fights, and hangovers, and it’s toxic to liver, heart and brain. But egghead Professor David Nutt of Imperial College London wants to remove the negatives of getting drunk.
Nutt is in the process of perfecting an alcohol-free concoction that targets the brain’s Gaba system — the neurotransmitter system gamma aminobutyric acid — and would deliver all of the amazing effects alcohol provides without the addictiveness, aggression, or hangovers. He’s currently running tests on
mice monkeys himself to get the formula right, and claims there’s promise for his invention to be done sooner rather than later. Even better: he’s creating an anecdote. So you’ll be able to get as hammered on the booze-free booze as you want while having the option to sober up almost instantly. Bottoms up, Professor. Nutt. You’re doing the Lord’s work, sir.