• The 5 worst Super Bowl winners ever. MadeMan

• Photos: 20 ways men and women differ. The Chive

• 35 brutally honest reasons women say no to sex. Yahoo! Shine

• Photos: Kate Upton in a bathing suit. Wait, why are you still reading this? WWTDD

• Why the Robocop remake might not be completely awful. FilmDrunk

• How unfriending Facebook can help your relationship status. The Frisky

• Why Donald Trump is an endorsement whore. ScreenJunkies

• 5 diseases that would actually be kinda cool to have. Maxim

• Stop smelling so horrible! Details

• 12 surprising facts about single people. YourTango

Super Bowl XLVI is shaping up to be the most annoying big game in years, what with insufferable Patriots fans and obnoxious Giants fans and the whole Boston/New York storyline playing out yet again. (Uh, we may still be upset that the teams we care about got knocked out of the playoffs. —Ed.)

Those of us without a dog in this fight are therefore forced to turn to the one source of entertainment that never fails: getting shamefully drunk at the Super Bowl parties we’re attending. Oh, and gambling. Gambling also never fails. Prop bets — they’re will-it-or-won’t-it-happen bets that don’t really have anything to do with the outcome of a game — are perfect for those who don’t care all that much about who wins. (In Vegas, Super Bowl prop bets make up a massive chunk of the money laid down on the game.)

Since we don’t care all that much about the Golden Boy and Eli, these are some of the prop bets we’ll be considering on Sunday. (All lines are from Bovada.lv, the recently rechristened Bodog.com)

How long will it take Kelly Clarkson to sing the National Anthem?
(Over/under: 1 minute, 34 seconds)
Ms. Clarkson was invited to perform on the most recent VH1 Divas special. It is against the diva code to sing quickly when you can labor over every note. Take the over.

Will Clarkson’s bare belly be showing?
(Yes, +300)
Clarkson is a talented performer, but do a Google image search of “Kelly Clarkson fat.” We think you’ll agree that the answer is no.

Will Madonna be wearing fishnet stockings at any point during the Super Bowl halftime show?
(Yes -120, No -120)
Madonna is in her 50s, so … actually, that doesn’t mean anything when it comes to Madonna. This could go either way.

What will Madonna be singing into at the start of the Super Bowl halftime show?
(Headset -300, Microphone +200)
Given the copious amounts of lip-syncing involved, there’s no way the Material Girl even pretends to be “singing” by using a mic.

What color will the Gatorade (or liquid) be that’s dumped on the head coach of the winning Super Bowl team?
(Clear 2/1; Yellow 2/1; Orange 9/4; Red 11/2; Green 6/1; Blue 10/1)
It is a scientific fact that red (i.e., Fruit Punch) Gatorade is the best, but for some reason we rarely see it on the sideline. So we’re going to take orange in a mild upset.

How many times will Peyton Manning appear on TV during the game?
(Over/under: 3.5 times)
This seems like a gimme, given Peyton’s little bro Eli and his ties to Super Bowl site Indianapolis. Unless he hides in the corner of the luxury box he’s sitting in, expect to see a lot of Mr. Manning.

How many times will Giselle Bundchen be shown on TV during the game?
(Over/under: .5 times)
If we had our way, this number would be in the dozens — and Giselle would be wearing Madonna’s fishnets and not much else. Take the over; even NBC is smart enough to show a supermodel at least once during a football game … right?

What will be higher, Eli Manning’s completions (+120) or LeBron James’ points (-150)?
The Giants are almost certainly going to try to slow down the Patriots by running the ball, so don’t expect more than 20 completions from Eli. Even if he gags in the fourth quarter, LeBron should win.

Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?
(Teammates 8/5; Coach 12/1; Family 7/1; God 4/1; Owner 9/2; No one 11/4)
If only Tim Tebow were here, this would be easy money. Bill Belichick and Tom Coughlin aren’t exactly the lovey-dovey types, so “teammates” seems like the safest bet.

What will happen with the stock market the day after the Super Bowl?
(Dow Up -140; Dow Down Even)
Whatever it takes to get these smelly Occupy kids off our damn lawn will make us happy. Go with the up.

• 8 characters blessed with deadly body parts. Maxim

• Mark Wahlberg is like Batman, Superman, and Iron Man combined. WWTDD

• Beggin’ For A Peggin’ and other excellent movie titles from the AVN Awards.  FilmDrunk

• Photos: 20 vans with cooler art than the Mystery Machine. Heavy

• Photos: 40 women who aren’t wearing bras. (It’s a very cerebral story.) The Chive

• 5 hilarious TV commercials from the 1970s. ScreenJunkies

• How to score cool duds on eBay. Details

• Sharing a bed may be bad for your relationship. Yahoo! Shine

• Are you a jerk to your girlfriend? Okay, are you a big jerk to your girlfriend? YourTango

• Artwork made from toys. It will give you nightmares. Lost in a Supermarket

• 6 great Super Bowl drinks. MadeMan

• What educational children’s TV shows like Mr. Wizard’s World taught us. The Frisky

The Pulse Awards are given out by the NFL Players Association to honor current and future NFL players for their contributions both on and off the field. During the festivities, which were held this past weekend, VIPs received gift bags full of awesome swag — and now you could score one of those gift bags too.

We’re giving away one of the bags, which has almost $500 worth of dude-friendly gear inside. Here’s what you’ll get:

• BiGR Audio Headphones
• Croton Watch
• Marchon Sunglasses
• Fly Society Skate Clothes
• Phiten Duo Titanium Bracelet

And here’s all you have to do to win it all:

Step 1: If you haven’t already, Like us on Facebook.

Step 2: Answer this question in the comments section of this story: If you could have one NFL player on your flag football team, who would it be and why?

You can enter until the end of the Super Bowl. Good luck!

And then there were four. Before dropping out of the GOP presidential race, candidates Herman Cain and Michele Bachman gave the electorate plenty to remember them by. And now fellow one-time front-runner and current Governor of Texas Rick Perry has decided to join them on the sidelines. After spending more than $15 million and garnering 14,323 votes in the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries — that’s about $955 per vote, by the way — Perry announced he’s suspending his campaign and throwing his support behind Newt Gingrich.

And now, a look back on Perry’s very best words of wisdom.

ON STAYING ON MESSAGE

ON SOCIAL NETWORKING
“You can always follow me on Tweeter.” (2011)

ON THE MINIMUM VOTING AGE IN SAUDI ARABIA AND THE DATE OF ELECTIONS IN … WELL, WE’RE NOT SURE
“Those of you that will be 21 by November the 12th, I ask for your support and your vote. Those of you who won’t be, just work hard.” (2011)

ON FORMER PRESIDENTS
“George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency defending us from freedom.” (2010)

ON ABSTINENCE EDUCATION

ON THE DRUG WAR
“Juarez [Mexico] is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.” (2011)

ON USING TOUGH TALK WITH COYOTES
“Don’t attack my dog or you might get shot.” (2010)

ON WHO REALLY CAUSED THE BP OIL SPILL (HINT: IT WASN’T BP.)
“From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.” (2010)

ON THREE HUGE POLICY DECISIONS. TWO OF WHICH HE CAN REMEMBER.

• Photos: 60 college pics that’ll make you watch Animal House again. The Chive

• The Expendables 2 gets a kiss-of-death PG-13 rating thanks to … Chuck Norris? ScreenJunkies

• What to wear on a winter vacation. Details

• O.J. Simpson may also be guilty of fathering Khloe Kardashian. WWTDD

• 8 fighters who became kickass actors. Maxim

• Meet Hazel. She has two vaginas! FilmDrunk

• Video: Classic NES characters invade Super Mario Bros. Heavy

• Should you schedule sex with your wife or girlfriend? Yahoo! Shine

• 15 ways guys want women to spice up their sex lives. YourTango

• How to pimp out your next tailgate. Lost in a Supermarket

• Behold the world’s lightest running shoe! MadeMan

• Video: The weirdest abstinence ad you’ll ever watch. The Frisky

• $100 Fandango gift card
• TTSS T-shirt
• Voice-recorder pen
• TTSS soundtrack
• Copy of the novel
• Chess set

Here’s how to win it all:

Step 1. If you haven’t already, Like us on Facebook.

Step 2. In the comments section of this story, just answer this question: What would you want your spy codename to be?

You can enter until January 20 at 11:59pm. Good luck!

#1: She’s not afraid to show off the goods.

#2: She’ll blast fools.

#3: Her telepathic abilities.

#4: She’s not afraid of your lizard.

#5: Her squeaky-clean ears and devotion to shower safety.

#6: She doesn’t feel odd wearing ear muffs in the buff.

• 9 memorable TV and movie performances starring the Twinkie. ScreenJunkies

• What to wear with a gray suit. Details

• Photos: 20 awesome classic arcade game cabinets. Heavy

• The second season of Game of Thrones gets a start date. ZapToIt

• 8 new television shows that are doomed to fail. Maxim

• Video: Victoria’s Secret 2012 Swimsuit Collection. Lost in a Supermarket

• Why your long commute may be ruining your relationship. Yahoo! Shine

• Are you a sensitive guy? You might be if you live in one of these cities. YourTango

• Photos: 35 hilarious photobombs. The Chive

• Will Ferrell is running for president … in his next movie project. FilmDrunk

• Rosie O’Donnell pulls a Chief Brody with endangered hammerhead sharks. WWTDD

• 7 tips to help you own a room. MadeMan

• Spin magazine demotes record reviews to Twitter. The Frisky