Every American War in a Hundred Words or Less

War of 1812

U.S. v. GREAT BRITAIN | WAR OF 1812 (1812-1815)
Still smarting over the ass whooping it received in the American War of Independence (USA! USA!), Great Britain acted like a petulant child via trade restrictions, impressment of U.S. sailors, and meddling in our amiable negotiations with displaced natives. So the U.S. was all, “WAR!”

Merchant ships skirmished, D.C. was burned, and stars spangled, which is how we got a national anthem out of the deal. The end of the conflict ushered in the Era of Good Feelings — no joke, that’s the term historians use — here in America, which was a period of national unity and bipartisan cooperation. Clearly, it has yet to end!

Mexican-American War