In order to look halfway decent when it’s time to get naked with a woman, you need to exercise consistently and go easy on the Bugles. The problem is that going to the gym isn’t fun and takes precious time away from important things like dominating Skyrim. And when you do go to the gym regularly but you stop seeing progress — you’ve either stopped losing weight or adding muscle mass — it’s tough to find a reason to keep returning.

Meatheads refer to the stagnation as plateauing, and once it happens, you have to find new training methods and techniques to break out of the rut. Sometimes it’s as easy as brining your mp3 player or Discman to the gym; other times it means showing up with a brand new game plan. 

1. LISTEN TO MUSIC
Putting on earphones at the gym can help drown out the sounds dudes grunting like cavemen when they bench press or elliptical super hard. But a 2009 study also found that people who listened to their choice of music while exercising performed at least one extra rep on every set of every exercise during a shoulder workout compared to those who listened to no music.

2. BE MORE EFFICIENT
Hitting a weight lifting plateau is like doing your job well but never being given a promotion or raise. The techniques below are like working half the time and being paid twice as much for it. So use them.

• Drop sets: Perform a set of an exercise, then immediately reduce the weight and do the same lift until failure. (If you are able to lift the reduced weight as many times as the initial weight, you’ve taken off too much.)

• Supersets: Two exercises performed back-t0-back with little or no rest between sets.

• Trisets: Same as a superset, except you’re doing three exercises instead of two.

• Giant sets: Same as a triset, except you’re doing four or more exercises instead of three.

Liam Neeson has beaten up terrorists, pimps, Sith, and Batmen. And since movie studios never put out derivative movies, he had to find something different to beat up. So he went with the obvious choice — bloodthirsty wolves!

The Grey, which opens this weekend, stars Neeson as the alpha male of a drilling team stranded in the Alaskan wilderness. In it, Neeson shows those wolves who’s boss by wielding broken mini liquor bottles strapped to his fists. Now, if you’re being attacked by animals but don’t have access to a hotel mini bar and some string, you’ll need to go to plan B. And we’re here to help.

DOGS
Wolf attacks are actually extremely rare — there’ve only been 49 documented cases in the U.S. since 1942. Domestic dogs, however, bite 4.7 million people each year in the U.S. If you should run into a pissed-off mutt, remember not to run, because the dog will just assume you’re prey and chase you. Instead, stand up tall, turn slightly sideways to the dog, keep your arms at your sides, avoid eye contact, and back away slowly. If the dog does bite, pull its ears or gouge its eyes.

You’re going to get old. You can’t do anything about that unless you make a deal with the devil or find a vial of super-soldier serum. That’s the bad news; the good news is that you can prevent yourself from looking and feeling as old as you are. Look at guys like George Clooney and Eddie Murphy. They look almost the same as they did when they were working on ER and picking up transvestite prostitutes. And you can be too!

A few tweaks to your lifestyle can help you avoid going limp in bed, clogging your shower drain with hair, and having skin like like Danny Trejo’s bulldog. Best of all, our remedies don’t involve chemicals or surgery.  

HOW TO STOP … IMPOTENCE
Erectile dysfunction affects roughly 20 million dudes in the United States. Things like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, low testosterone, heart disease, diabetes, smoking cigarettes, drug use, and obesity are all contributing factors of ED. But instead of popping a Viagra or suffering through a bite from a Brazilian wandering spider (seriously, it’s an impotence cure), it might be easier and cheaper to revamp your diet. Replace the lousy foods you eat that have high fat, sodium, or sugar with healthier alternatives like broccoli, spinach, fish, flaxseed, walnuts, and eggs. The swap should help keep the arteries near the corpora cavernosa healthy in the longterm and increase blood flow to your penis.

Oh, and get more exercise — studies have linked a sedentary lifestyle to ED. Plus, even if you are able to get it and keep it up, dudes who don’t exercise regularly are 2.7 times more likely to die of a massive heart attack during sex than guys who do exercise.

For as long as filmmakers have been making movies, people have been dying in them. And we don’t mean gently passing away, either. We’re talking about being dropped from extreme heights, devoured by man-eating sharks, and pounded to death by Soviet superboxers.

And although it’s sometimes tough to say goodbye to these characters (oh, like you didn’t well up when Apollo hit the canvas), we can’t help but wonder what kind of horrible medical trauma is happening to their bodies as a result of their mishaps. So we asked Dr. Andrew Yaun, a Certified Chiropractic Sports Physician in Connecticut, to explain to us what exactly is happening to the bodies of the characters who’ve died some of the most memorable movie deaths of all time.

FALLING OFF A BUILDING | DIE HARD

The Death: Eurotrash terrorist Hans Gruber takes a 500 ft. tumble from the top of the Nakatomi Tower, thanks to the quick thinking of shoeless New York City cop John McClane.

Dr. Yaun Says: “Whether Hans landed on his butt or his back, each vertebra in the spine would shatter, severing the spinal cord at multiple levels. In addition, his ribs would slice clean through his heart and lungs, and his head would explode like a water balloon hitting cement upon impact.”

We Say: Aw, man! Why didn’t they show that?!

The DEA defines pot as a “Schedule I” drug, which means law enforcement places it in the same category as heroin. Amazing, right? Arguably more amazing is the fact that cocaine is a Schedule II drug, which means the DEA is kind of saying that crack has more medicinal value than marijuana.

Nevertheless, people can still apply for a medical marijuana license in 16 states and Washington, D.C. And six more states have pending legislation to either legalize or green-light its use for residents. Is that a good thing? Rather than focus on the political or “moral” implications, we figured we’d look at the science of pot smoking. And like most things you do, smoking pot comes with pros and cons.

PRO: WEED MAKES YOU HAPPY
By attaching to cannabinoid receptors — nerve centers in the brain that control pleasure, thought, memory, coordination and perception — THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol, the main psychoactive ingredient in marijuana) stimulates the brain and prompts the release of dopamine, which is a chemical associated with pleasure. Another way to write that sentence: Weed makes you happy.

CON: GETTING HIGH MAY MAKE YOU SAD
A few studies have linked, ahem, chronic pot smoking to increased levels of anxiety and depression. However, some of these studies have been called into question because the participants were already leading crappy lives.

Yes, you can make a high-energy playlist, hire a personal trainer (if you can afford one), and pick a cardio machine that’s near a TV. But we’ve got a list of things that can be even more helpful in keeping you motivated — and that can make your workouts far more effective.

TIP #1: CHANGE YOUR WORKOUTS REGULARLY
Switch your workouts around every few weeks or whenever you feel like you’re no longer seeing results (muscleheads refer to that as plateauing). Mix up the exercises, sets, reps, rest periods, level of intensity, length of time, and number of days you train; it’s called the muscle-confusion principal. (Yes, even your muscles can get confused.)

And you can do this automatically by signing up for the Muscle & Fitness Trainer. It’s free, and depending on what you want to do — build muscle, lose weight, get bigger guns than Mr. Olympia — it’ll build you personal workouts. If you don’t check in and train when you’re scheduled to, the M&F Trainer will send a message to your friends and family to let them know. You might not feel guilty for eating Funyons and watching Netflix instead of going to the gym, but you’ll definitely feel annoyed when you’re bombarded with Facebook posts from people busting your chops for bring a loafer.

Your fingernails are nearly twice as dirty as your fingers. And your keyboard has more germs festering on it than your toilet. So if you typed our URL into the address bar and then bit your nails while waiting for the site to load, man is your mouth totally gross.

Biting your nails — or onychophagia — not only transfers a sh*tload of bacteria, fungus, and other microorganisms from your fingers to your mouth, it can also wear down your teeth, contribute to skin and cuticle infections, and increase your risk of getting sick. Plus, it’s super unattractive. So if you don’t have the sheer willpower to quit gnawing on your nails, we hope these techniques help you stop. And if they don’t work, please stay far, far away from us. We’re all germaphobes here.

1. APPLY PRODUCTS
Control It! ($35)  is an odorless, colorless all-natural cream that you apply to your nails. Its bitter taste will give you an unpleasant reminder that you’re a very bad boy each time you go in for a chew.

2. KEEP YOUR NAILS GROOMED
We don’t expect you to carry a nail file around saw away during happy hour with coworkers, but clipping your nails regularly and smoothing any jagged edges may be enough to keep your OCD about “fixing” your nails with your teeth at bay.

3. DISTRACT YOURSELF
Idle hands can help fuel your nail-biting habit, so reduce the chance that you’ll go to town on your nails by keeping your hands busy and your mind distracted with a stress ball, Silly Putty, or handgrips. Other forms of distractions include chewing gum or eating mints.

4. MANAGE STRESS AND ANXIETY
Stress, anxiety, frustration, and fear are common nail-biting causes. So whether you’re feeling uneasy about work, your relationship, or Michael Meyers moving in next door, pinpointing what’s plaguing you can help keep your nails out of your mouth.

5. PUNISH YOURSELF
No need to go all S&M on yourself as punishment if you bite your nails, but try putting a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it when you get the urge. The negative physical response will gradually help lessen your desire to bite.

6. SEE A DOCTOR
Your nail biting may be part of a bigger obsessive-compulsive issue. If you think you have OCD, make a doctor’s appointment and get diagnosed. You can also opt for hypnosis — it’s the same method smokers use — or ask a doctor about cognitive-behavioral therapy or habit-reversal training. The former will help you work on relaxation methods while the latter focuses on identifying repetitive behaviors and finding healthier replacements.

Dry skin and chapped lips can be itchy, painful, and a huge eyesore to women. And while winter is a common time for guys to experience xeroderma — what eggheads call dry skin — the condition can do more than hinder a dude’s chances at getting laid. Healthy skin serves as a defense against infections, so if your derma is taut and dried out, germs and bacteria will have an easier time invading your body.

Luckily, a few product purchases can help you and your skin fight back against the elements. Whether you’re looking for protection or a little hydration from frigid winds or the sun’s UV rays, or you simply look haggard after one too many cocktails at one too many ugly-sweater holiday parties, it’s not that difficult to shed flaky, dry, saggy skin when you arm yourself with the right tools.

Ahava Men Protective Moisturizing Fluid SPF 15 ($32)
Razor burn and ingrown hairs are a unpleasant side effect to shaving. But they don’t have to be. This non-greasy, post-shave conditioner from Ahava is a non-scented, antibacterial moisturizer that contains ginko, ginseng root extract, and minerals derived from the Dead Sea to create a quick-absorbing formula that balances the skin’s pH levels and heals minor cuts. It also contains SPF 15, which can help protect your skin from sun damage.

The holidays are filled with joy and cheer. They’re also filled with crowded stores, lots of traffic, and hour upon tortuous hour of mandatory family get-togethers. It can be enough to make you want to jam a shovel into Frosty’s neck.

If you want to keep your blood pressure down this holiday season (or any time of year), it’s important to learn how to control your anger. Now, we’re not saying you shouldn’t get angry — it’s natural and healthy to be pissed off sometimes. But if you need a way to calm down before you help you start putting body parts through walls, Los Angeles-based therapist Dr. Deborah Buttitta offered us the following tips …

Broad shoulders make your clothes fit better, make you look more imposing, and make you look more powerful, which are all good things … unless you’re at a bar and a drunk short guy with self-esteem issues is looking for someone to fight, because then he’ll choose you. Anyway, if you want solid shoulders, you probably need to hit the gym. We’ll tell you how to add size, strength, and definition to your deltoids, but it’s on you to use a reasonable amount of weight (the amount of weight is always secondary to form).

Remember, when you’re attempting to build muscle, stick between 8-12 reps. And your goal with this shoulders workout is to isolate each deltoid head and your trapezius with precise movements, not to make yourself hemorrhage from the ears. So if you’re gasping for air, take some more time and lighten the load on your next set.