1. PICK A STYLE
According to the American Mustache Institute (it exists), there are 13 distinct moustache varieties. I’ll spare you the Pencil (a.k.a. the John Waters) and the Toothbrush (a.k.a. the Hitler, a.k.a. the Michael Jordan) in favor of a few easy-to-execute options for the first-timer.

Chevron
The Look: A thick bar of hair reaching to the edges of the lips.
It Says: I’m all business. And possibly an undercover cop.

Handlebar
The Look: Hair extends an inch or two past the lips and is groomed with styling wax to curl back toward the nose.
It Says: I take great pride in my moustache. Also, I am quite dapper.

Horseshoe
The Look: A Chevron with straight lines down to the chin.
It Says: I’m not a long-haul trucker, but I play one on TV.

2. GROOM WITH CARE
These styles don’t just happen by themselves. First, you need to spend a week or two growing a beard to lay down a good base. Then, depending on how powerful your hormones are, use the trimmer you’ll find on the back of most electric razors to loosely shave around the area you want to keep. Finally, bust out your standard five-bladed razor for the detail work. Err on the side of big-ness, and shave every morning to keep your ’stache strong and defined.

A couple of years ago at the World Beard & Mustache Championships, I asked every handle-barred fellow I saw what styling product he favored. The best recommendation I got was from Colin Rowe of Los Angeles: “Another guy turned me on to Firehouse Mustache Wax. He had a handlebar, he did a triathlon, and through all the biking, the swimming, the running, all the sweat and wind, his mustache stayed motionless. It was perfect at the finish line. That convinced me — I switched.” So yeah, Firehouse.

3. KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL
The trickiest thing about growing a mustache is operating in the working world. Even though very few workplaces have explicit rules about moustaches, any sort of job requiring a button-down shirt tends to carry with it an implicit message wild facial hair isn’t encouraged. But assuming you’re not in, say, the Marines, a bold moustache can actually help you. Easy for me to say, since I don’t work in an office (That’s Steve to the left, probably at 2pm on a Wednesday.—Ed.) but another guy at the WBMC, Benjamin Juergens, rocks a big curly ’stache while working as an aerospace engineer and says, “A lot of people really respect it. You walk into a business meeting, and they’re like, ‘Wow, look at that guy!’” Provided you confidently own your look, it gets you noticed. You just need to pair it with actual competence.

4. GET MO ACTION
Remember what I said about owning it? That same advice applies when it comes to the opposite sex. Sure, there are girls who hate fur on the face, but women who like moustaches really like moustaches. And since they’re found on a very small percentage of dudes who aren’t trapped with malevolent shape-shifting aliens on Antarctic research stations, you don’t even have to chase those hotties. You just have to keep your facial foliage in tip-top shape and wear it proudly. As Rowe explains, “If you’re trying to talk to a woman, it’s always, ‘How do I introduce myself?’ Well, I don’t need that. They come up to me, and they always have the same two questions: Is it real? And can I twirl it? The answers are yes and yes.”

(Steve Mazzucchi is the Managing Editor of MadeMan.com and a longtime Movember participant. For mo info about Movember, check out Movember Central.)

So unless you have too much money or don’t mind slathering chemicals on your head for the rest of your life, we’re pretty sure we know which of those three options you’ll find most appealing.

RELAX
Stress can induce hair loss. But according to Dr. Daniel Hall-Flavin of the Mayo Clinic, stress-related hair loss can be reversible. You just have to find ways to relax, mon. Take a walk, go for a run, hit the gym, practice yoga — do something that isn’t work-related or frustrating.

Some hairstyles for men, like keeping it short and well groomed, are actually haircuts women love; others, like combing it over in a futile attempt to create a defensive hair perimeter around your head, aren’t a good look for anyone. We’ve laid out the going-bald hairstyle dos and don’ts so you can look your best no matter how little hair your stupid genes have left you with.

DON’T: THE COMBOVER
This is not fooling anyone, pal. Donald Trump is the most famous example of this offense (though his combover is so extreme we almost respect him for it), but plenty of guys still do it, like Senator John McCain here. Dudes with combovers look silly no matter what, but they’re also one gust of wind away from looking like a party favor.

DO: MILITARY-STYLE
We’re not saying WWE wrestler John Cena is balding — we wouldn’t hurl accusations like that at someone who could squeegee our intestines as easily as squeezing toothpaste out of the tube — but if he were we wouldn’t be able to tell. Keeping it short draws less attention to bald spots and blends thinning hair in with the rest. This creates an illusion that you’ve got more hair than you actually do.

DO AND DON’T: SHAVED HEAD
Michael Jordan, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, and Stone Cold Steve Austin all look great with shaved heads. It can make a guy look more dominant, give him presence, and shave years off of how old he looks — but it doesn’t automatically work quite that well for everyone. The size and shape of your head and face can play a part, so don’t just assume because you’re balding that is the best option for you.

DO: TEXTURED CROP
For guys with thinning hair up front but an abundance on the sides and back, the textured crop haircut is one of the better overall options. Again, it’s all about blending what hair you have left with the hair you’re losing by cutting uneven layers. It’s a favorite hairstyle for Jude Law, Jeremy Piven, Brad Pitt, and Casey Affleck.

DO: BUZZ CUT
The buzz cut can be your best friend when your hair is thinning or bald spots are sprouting up. It’s not quite shaved — there’s a tiny layer of hair left on the scalp — and it helps hide any glaring bald spots by keeping it one length. Andre Agassi had a fluffy lion’s mane that women swooned over in the 80s and early 90s, and when he went with the buzz cut the ladies were still begging him to play doubles. Jason Stratham is another guy who wears the hairstyle well.

DON’T: THE LOBOT
George Costanza (and Larry David) have proved this hairstyle won’t keep a determined guy from getting action … but it’s not exactly a big advantage. And since you’re not either of those dudes, do yourself a favor and mold this into a shaved head or buzz cut. At the very least, maintain what’s left. It’ll make you look less like you’re afraid to embrace the obvious — that you may have won a few battles, but you’re still losing the hair-loss war.

Thing is, a lot of what we think we know about androgenic alopecia (the fancy term for hair loss) turn out to be total myths. We’ve listed seven of the most popular things you’ve most likely heard — and probably believed — about going bald, but simply aren’t true. 

MYTH # 1: Wearing Hats Causes Hair Loss
In order for a hat to make you bald, it’d have to literally cut off circulation to the hair follicles. Nobody could stand wearing a hat that tight. However, a case of folliculitis — an infection caused by bacteria, viruses, or fungi infecting the hair follicle — can expedite hair loss for people who are already starting to thin out up top. Two ways to that: Wearing grimy hats and shaving your head with an old, nasty razor.

MYTH # 2: Hair Loss Is Directly Related To Testosterone Levels
Testosterone doesn’t cause hair loss, but when testosterone naturally converts to DHT (dihydrotestosterone), it can shrink hair follicles and cause a reaction that restricts blood flow to the capillaries for some people. If your hair follicles are sensitive DHT, the hair will fall out naturally, but won’t be replaced.

MYTH # 3: Gel, Mousse, And Other Hair Products Can Cause Hair Loss
There is no scientific data that links the use of hair products to going bald. That said, you shouldn’t glob on product until your hair is a crusty gel helmet. You won’t lose your hair if you do that, but you might lose all chances of getting laid. 

MYTH # 4: Stress Causes Men To Go Bald
This isn’t entirely false, but it’s misleading. If you’re suffering from a physical or mental trauma — a messy divorce, terrible accident, chronic illness, even a bad fever — your body downgrades the importance of hair growth to focus on the more important issue. It’s called Telogen Effluvium, the excessive temporary loss of hair in the telogen (resting) phase, and it can last up to 12 weeks (longer if untreated) before your hair begins to regrow. 

MYTH # 5: Frequent Haircuts Cause Hair To Grow Back Faster And Thicker
Nope. Your hair will grow about a half inch each month — regardless of how often your barber snips it. The same proves true for shaving your face: Your hair does not grow back thicker, darker, or coarser. 

MYTH # 6: Your Mother Is Solely To Blame For Baldness
Mom may have lied to you about how you catch a cold, but you can’t pin your baldness on her. Either parent can be at fault. In fact, research has shown that if you have a bald father, your odds of developing male pattern baldness are higher than for those who had dads with a full head of hair.

MYTH # 7: Propecia and Rogaine Are A Waste of Money
False. Propecia is a prescription pill that blocks the hormones that shrink hair follicles; Rogaine works as a slowing agent for thinning hair. But there’s a big catch. Finasteride, the active ingredient in Propecia, can cause erectile dysfunction, low libido, and problems reaching climax … and new research from the George Washington University Medical Center says roughly 20 percent of men had side effects more than six years after they stopped taking finasteride. Side effects for Rogaine are minor — scalp irritation, itching, and dandruff. If you decide you want to quit using either product, your hair will revert to the way it was.

Last year, rookie quarterback Sam Bradford led the St. Louis Rams to a remarkable 7-9 record. Remarkable because it was more wins than the team had in the previous three years combined.

On the way, he set NFL rookie records for most pass attempts, most pass completions, and most pass attempts without an interception. And today, to the surprise of pretty much no one, Bradford was named the NFL Offensive Rookie Player of the Year.

So we decided to ask the former University of Oklahoma Sooner a few questions whilst we basked in the glow of his success one recent snowy day in New York City. He was there getting his shaggy mop of hair buzzed during an event sponsored by AXE haircare products. Which reminds us: Tom Brady, you may want to avert your eyes ….

You’re here getting your hair buzzed, but there are an awful lot of long-hairs in football right now — two of the most famous [Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews] are even playing in the Super Bowl. Why the hell would a football player keep his hair so long?
I can’t really talk for other guys, but I wouldn’t want my hair that long. It would just be an extra thing for defenders to use against me.

Your stylist told us that the, uh, “girls in your life” like your hair short. Is that so?
No doubt — all the girls back home were excited. Most were excited that I was working with a grooming company because someone was finally helping me out.

You won the Heismann as a sophomore, were the first overall pick in the NFL draft last year, and were named the NFL Offensive Rookie Player of the Year. There must be crazy pressure to continue racking up the achievements.
I don’t think it’s any pressure at all. I never set out the year to win individual awards. I approach the year as, our first goal is to win the NFC West, then get to the Super Bowl, then win it. We all, as a team, have to have those goals. Of course I set personal goals each year for myself. But the No. 1 goal each week is the team’s success.

If those are your goals, then what do you and the Rams have to do to attain them?
Personally, I want to improve a lot of things. I can be better out, reading defenses, putting our offense in better situations. I hope Josh [McDaniels, the Rams' new offensive coordinator] feels comfortable putting more on my plate. As my understanding of the game continues to improve, we’ll become much better.

Who’s going to win the Super Bowl — the Packers or the Steelers?
I’m not going to say.

Fine. Will you be at the game?
No, not until we’re in the game.

Do you at least have some advice for, say, Aaron Rodgers?
[laughs] Oh, Aaron definitely doesn’t need advice from me.

St. Louis is often called the best baseball town in the country. Do you ever feel overshadowed by the Cards?
Not at all. They have a great tradition in St Louis. No matter what we do, people in St. Louis will still love the Cardinals. And hopefully no matter what the Cardinals do, people will still love the Rams.

Okay, but be honest: Do you get recognized more often in St. Louis, or back in Norman, Oklahoma?
Norman, definitely.

Hair loss doesn’t occur because you never took off your hat in college, or because you eat poorly, or because of mysterious gypsy magic. Genetics is the main factor that determines hair loss, and there’s not much you can do about your genes. (Thanks a lot, Grandpa!)

If you notice your hair thinning, you can try products like Propecia that will slow your loss. Or products like Rogaine that’ll actually re-grow your hair. Or a host of others. You just need to know which work and which don’t. Read on.

(It’s because razors can be used as deadly weapons. Obviously. —Ed.)

You need good hair. Women like guys with hair — and not just hair, but hair that looks and smells good.

So I’m going to make it easy for you with a straightforward countdown of the best shampoos for guys. (Be sure to take note of the kind that’s best for your hair type.) If you just read this once and make your choice, you’ll be able to mindlessly buy the same shampoo for the rest of your life…unless, of course, you go bald.

Next: Shampoo for thinning hair

Does it really matter how much you pay for a haircut? Absolutely.

A man with a $12 haircut looks like he should be teaching math to eighth graders. A man with a $55 haircut looks like he should be on a boat with women who hang out with men on boats.

If you’re on a tight budget, $55+ at a high-end salon sounds obscene, even if you do get a neck massage and cup of espresso. On the other hand, paying $20 shouldn’t mean you get a choice of Buzz Cut 1 or Buzz Cut 2. So how do you get the most bang for your buck? For starters, you can follow these tips to squeeze as much stylist talent as you can from your barber.

Now, what’s the difference between a high-end salon and barber shop (or even Supercuts)? “High-end salons will tend to give better haircuts,” said celebrity hair stylist Marco Pelusi, owner of Marco Pelusi Hair Studio in West Hollywood, Calif. It also employs more stylists, who tend to focus on the latest trends, luxury treatment and customizing your cut and color to fit your face — all for a price tag fit for John Edwards.

How about midrange men’s grooming salons? “There are some really great mid-range priced men’s grooming salons that do a good job,” says Pelusi. And many of them employ both stylists and barbers, who tend to focus on more traditional cuts as well as grooming (shaves, etc.). At $30-$40, a mid-range salon is a reliable place to start.

Holding steady at “yes, we still exist” are barber shops, which have the reputation of giving a clean cut (aka the crew cut) and a classy shave to everyone. We’re talking $20-ish now. That said, barber shops have come a long way since your dad’s childhood; now you can get more variety at modernized shops like Floyd’s 99.

And just a notch down on the price chain is a cheap chain salon like Supercuts. “You can sometimes stumble upon a good hairstylist there, but it’s risky,” says Pelusi.

Now here’s where you ask yourself: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do you? If not, we asked our experts how to improve your odds. Our theory: With the right training, you can transform your local barber into a bona fide stylist, someone who could give you a cut that actually looks good on you, for a fraction of a high-end salon’s price. The secret? Communication. No matter your wallet size, you shouldn’t walk out of a shop with bad hair if you know how to effectively convey your vision to the person who’s doing the cutting. After all, it is a service. Even if you’re not sure what you want, we’ll show you how to make sure you get a style that agrees with you.

So, no more feeling it’s out of your hands when your barber gets scissor-happy. No more “eh, it’s shorter than I wanted.” And no more worrying about that receding hairline, widow’s peak, cowlick or slowly expanding bald spot. Read on for what to say, what to ask and what not to do — including the No. 1 mistake made by most men. It’s all covered in this neat little Hair 101.

STEP 1: Speak Up Before Sharp Objects Get Anywhere Near Your Head

Assuming you know exactly what you want, specify that — right down to the last nitty-gritty detail. For example, “I want my hair cut over the ears” could mean “cut above the ear” or “so the hair covers the ear,” says Morrison. Clarify. It makes a big difference. If you like a squared-off look at the neckline, tell the person who is cutting your hair. If you have weird hair action like a cowlick, talk about it before your haircut so it doesn’t become exposed. If your hair looks bad when it’s cut too short, say something! “Don’t hold back,” says Pelusi. “Be more high-maintenance in the chair. It’s important to get the look that’s comfortable on you.”

STEP 2: Be Realistic About Your Hair Type

Have thick, Brillo-pad hair but want it to hang like Johnny Depp’s? Not gonna happen. (His hair is fine and slightly wavy.) Even if your barber trimmed a hair-by-hair replica, yours would look much different. Instead, look to guys who have hair like yours — for example, Brillo boy should look to guys like Lenny Kravitz, Justin Timberlake or Adrian Grenier for inspiration. “The biggest mistake is to request a haircut that does not work with his hair texture,” says Pelusi. Figure out whether your hair is fine, thick, straight, wavy, curly or kinky — ask a woman, ask a barber, ask somebody. If you don’t know whether the style you want will work on your hair, just ask; otherwise your barber might assume you’re OK with the soon-to-be-tragic outcome.

STEP 3: Pick a Style That Works for 95 Percent of Your Life

Hmm, maybe that mohawk wasn’t the best call by the time you got back to the office. Along with your hair type, choose a cut that suits your face shape, occupation and lifestyle. “A good hairstylist should know how to approach this and also find an appropriate way to infuse the latest trends into the cut,” says Pelusi. “Don’t go in and ask for a short, spiky or trendy look if it’s not appropriate for you.”

STEP 4: Bring Visual Aids. No, The Barber Won’t Laugh At You — And if He Does, Who Cares. This Is Your Head We’re Talking About, After All

Most salons have look books and magazines that will help you find the right style, but you don’t want to have to pick out your cut under the gun. Look through some magazines before you visit and bring photos of styles you’d like to try. Who cares if it’s a photo of that guy who plays Harry Potter? If you want the haircut you had last year, bring a photo of yourself with that haircut.

STEP 5: Your First Warning Signal That Something’s About to Go Horribly Awry

Your barber should be asking questions before getting started. If not, you have probable cause to worry. If he isn’t, volunteer some information. Key things he or she should know: when you last got it cut, what you liked and didn’t like about that cut, what the best haircut you ever had looked like, and so on. This should help convey your personal style a bit more than “gimme the same cut I had last time but shorter,” which is what he assumes if you don’t say anything different.

STEP 6: Speak The Man’s Language

Knowing common salon terms and using them correctly can really help your barber get the gist, such as:

Tapering or fading — to blend the sides and back. This technique is great for creating a more slender look to the face and neck. Best done on short hair.

Texturizing — to create that chopped, uneven, pseudo-rock star look. Great for very straight hair, or to thin out really thick hair.

Thinning — to reduce the bulk of very thick hair. This keeps your hair from looking too heavy or poufy.

Blending — to create a cut that has no harsh lines and a nice, neat look. Often done on the back and sides of the head with scissors over a comb. Great for short hair. Barbers tend to be good at this.

Cowlick — that spot in your hair that grows in a weird direction (like Alfalfa’s)

STEP 7: Time to Call in Reinforcements (a.k.a., Styling Products)

Sometimes you need styling products to make a certain look happen. But whether you mind spending another five minutes on styling your hair comes into play here. Ask your barber how much time it’s going to take and what form of product is best (gel, hairspray, pomade, wax, etc. — they all do different things.) “Another big mistake men typically make, especially younger men, is using too much product,” says Pelusi. Too much product can cause buildup, which can make hair look dull and dry. Use less, and try to buy water-soluble products, which have water (not oil) listed high up in the ingredient list.

STEP 8: If You Actually Do All This Stuff Above, And Still Get Bad Hair, It Is Time to Break Up With Your Barber

If after all your effort to be the world’s best communicator, you’re not convinced the barber gets you, say thanks and move on to another one. Yeah, we know you just want to get it over with and your hair will grow back, but think of finding a good barber as an investment — someone who will be making you look incredibly good on a regular basis. Once you find a talented one who’s affordable, you’re golden.

Now now, dry those tears—you weren’t expected to know that. After all, you don’t often spend hours sifting through the endless array of hair-care products at your local drugstore, because you have better uses for your time…we hope.

That’s why we compiled this list of the best affordable hair-care products: hairstyling aids, shampoos, and 2-in-1s that deliver on their claims and smell good—you know, for the ladies. Pick out a few that sound right for you, and your next trip to the drugstore will be far less painful. First up, styling products…

Skip to: Shampoo/conditioner