The DEA defines pot as a “Schedule I” drug, which means law enforcement places it in the same category as heroin. Amazing, right? Arguably more amazing is the fact that cocaine is a Schedule II drug, which means the DEA is kind of saying that crack has more medicinal value than marijuana.

Nevertheless, people can still apply for a medical marijuana license in 16 states and Washington, D.C. And six more states have pending legislation to either legalize or green-light its use for residents. Is that a good thing? Rather than focus on the political or “moral” implications, we figured we’d look at the science of pot smoking. And like most things you do, smoking pot comes with pros and cons.

PRO: WEED MAKES YOU HAPPY
By attaching to cannabinoid receptors — nerve centers in the brain that control pleasure, thought, memory, coordination and perception — THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol, the main psychoactive ingredient in marijuana) stimulates the brain and prompts the release of dopamine, which is a chemical associated with pleasure. Another way to write that sentence: Weed makes you happy.

CON: GETTING HIGH MAY MAKE YOU SAD
A few studies have linked, ahem, chronic pot smoking to increased levels of anxiety and depression. However, some of these studies have been called into question because the participants were already leading crappy lives.

Sadly, hangovers are far less entertaining in real life, which is why hangover cures are so important. While lots of people have nutty ideas for what “cures” a hangover — inhaling a combination of pure oxygen and nitrogen, or drinking tea made from rabbit dung (seriously) — there’s actual science that backs up several potential remedies. We trust science a lot more than crazy drunks, which is why we think these are 6 hangover cures you should know.

Drink lots of fluids … that aren’t booze
Forget that hair-of-the-dog nonsense. Drinking more alcohol in the morning doesn’t block the effects of a hangover — it postpones them. So put down the wounded soldier and rehydrate with water. And then drink more water. Sports drinks like Gatorade or Powerade contain electrolytes — basically, minerals that keep the body running properly — but they also contain a lot of sugar. After 18 rum and Cokes, that’s the last thing your body needs.

Eat eggs
If you’ve ever wondered why eating a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich makes you feel better when you’re hungover, we have the answer — it’s the egg. (And the deliciousness.) Eggs contain an amino acid called cysteine, which helps break down acetaldehyde, which is a nasty byproduct of your body trying to process all the booze. (Don’t be all healthy and order egg whites; cysteine is in the yolks.) And for people who swear that consuming a greasy breakfast helps “soak up” the booze in your gut, it doesn’t. There’s no scientific evidence to back that up.

Go back to bed
If it’s not a workday, the morning of your graduation, or the dawn of the apocalypse, try hitting the snooze button a few dozen times. A study in the journal Alcohol & Alcoholism showed that symptoms like headaches the day after excessive drinking are actually related to the fact that you didn’t get enough sleep.

Take Alka-Seltzer
The sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) in the fizzy medicine will help settle an upset stomach by neutralizing stomach acid. If aspirin bothers your tummy a lot, however, skip the Alka-Seltzer.

Wash down an OTC painkiller with caffeine
Researchers at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia have concluded that the caffeine in coffee and an OTC painkiller’s anti-inflammatory ingredients help deal with the chemical compounds of ethanol (pure alcohol) in rats. However, caffeine is a mild diuretic — it makes you take a leak — and can dehydrate you. So while a cup of joe can be a great short-term solution, without proper hydration, you risk feeling even worse. Also, you should avoid acetaminophen (Tylenol and Excedrin) because it’s demanding on your liver. And don’t you think your liver has already suffered enough?

In fact, it turns out a lot of the things we’ve heard about catching colds are myths. Yes, it’s true that you should wash your hands a lot in order to avoid getting sick — but you can forget the commonly held beliefs we’ve listed below.

MYTH #1: Going outside with wet hair will make you sick
Going outside in winter with wet hair is a great way to get cold, but it won’t increase your odds of catching a cold. Whether you’re inside or out, wet or dry, viruses can still find a way into your body. During the wintertime we’re indoors more often, which allows for easier passage of germs from one person to another. And since we’re around sick people in confined spaces, the probability that we’ll get ill goes up. It has nothing to do with forgetting to use a blowdryer.

MYTH #2: Feed a cold, starve a fever
Do you think a cold virus is going to get so full it dies? Or that a flu virus is going to be all, “No more Funyuns? I’m outta here!” Of course not. While a cold or fever may cause loss of appetite, your immune system still needs nutrients to function correctly. And your body needs absolutely needs fluids when you’re sick since sickness tends to dehydrate you.

MYTH #3: Vitamin C is a cold killer
Sorry, no cold-fighting powers here. Daily intake of vitamin C is still a good idea — it can help prevent wrinkles, heart disease, cancer, and lessens risk of Alzheimer’s — but it won’t prevent your nose from being runny.

However, it’s neither frugal nor environmentally friendly to devour only one part of a human victim (zombie Native Americans would never do such a thing). And are brains really the ideal part of a body to eat, or would, say, a nice forearm actually be preferable?

To find out how a zombie — or you — could best go about consuming a human body, we turned to training and nutrition expert Dr. Jim Stoppani, whose clients have included Dr. Dre, LL Cool J, and Mario Lopez. He gave us the lowdown on the nutritional needs of the living dead, the palatability of various body parts, and which part of your companions you’d want to snack on if you ran out of Funyons while stranded on a desert island.

1. Flax seed
Known as a modern miracle food, flax seeds are high in alpha linolenic acids (ALA), an omega-3 fatty acid found in plants. Eating flax seed lowers cholesterol, lowers blood triglyceride and blood pressure, and simultaneously keeping the platelets (colorless bodies in our blood) from turning sticky and therein reducing heart attack risk.

2. Tomatoes
Called a “cancer-fighting” food, tomatoes are eaten to help prevent stomach, endometrial, lung, skin, and prostate cancer, and they contain high percentages of potassium, iron, vitamin A, vitamin C, and lycopene. Health journalist Soleil Robins offers a suggestion for ideal consumption: “To get those specific antioxidants easily absorbed into your body, cook a tomato in a pan with olive oil, then eat it warm on top of your favorite pasta.” Eat at least one a day.

3. Kale
One cup of kale provides 10 percent of daily fiber, as well as vitamin A and C. If you’re unfamiliar with the vegetable, kale is often grouped in with the cabbage, collards, and brussels sprouts family of low-fat, low-calorie vegetables. Southern greens, boiled, oiled, and pan cooked, are often the tastiest.

4. Avocado
Somewhere along the way avocados garnered a reputation as being a fatty, guilt-inducing treat, but the truth is they are good for you. When consumed in their purest form, avocados contain 23 percent of the recommended daily rate of folate, decreasing the likelihood of heart disease. Moreover, they act as a nutrient sponge when consumed with other foods. Eating a salad with avocado allows for absorption of five times the amount of cartenoids (necessary nutrients including beta carotene and lycopene) than otherwise possible.

5. Yogurt
Bone health expert Dr. Robert Heaney recommends yogurt as an optimal source of necessary nutrients. “Milk products are richer sources of calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, potassium, zinc, and protein than the average of other typical foods in an adult diet,” he says. Lactose intolerant? (Meaning, allergic to milk?) Not a problem, as yogurt is predigested and therefore packed with good bacteria commonly known as probiotics, which keep the digestive system regular.

6. Almonds and Walnuts
“All nuts are healthful in small doses,” said Today Show nutritionist Joy Bauer, MS, RD. “Studies show they can help lower cholesterol levels and promote weight loss.”  Rich in fiber, B vitamins, magnesium and antioxidants, almonds and walnuts in particular promote healthy digestion and provide our bodies with omega-3 fatty acids, the necessary fats for fuel. Of course, because of its high healthy fat count, eating too many nuts can result in weight gain. The recommended amount is an ounce per day.

7. Dried fruit
Dried apricots, dates or plums are high in potassium, magnesium and dietary fiber, which aid against high blood pressure, chances of heart disease and bad body fats. As five servings of fruits are suggested for a healthy daily diet, dried fruit is an easy way to accommodate eating a small serving or two on the run.

8. Olive Oil
Recipe books that promote the use of olive oil boast that its monounsaturated fat (instead of saturated or polyunsaturated fats) can reduce blood pressure, benefit those at risk of diabetes, lessen the severity of asthma and arthritis and act against growth of some cancers. Rich in antioxidants like chlorophyll and cartenoids, olive oil also contains a compound called oleuropein that fights against artery-clogging and keeps bad body fats at low count.

9. Rosemary
It’s not just a fine-smelling culinary herb. Rosemary extract is often used to medicate upset stomach, headache and various digestive disorders. It also can be applied directly to the skin, as an oil, to strengthen capillaries and rejuvenate fatigued complexions.

10. Turmeric
Used for more than 2,500 years in India (first as a dye, later as a medicine), turmeric is considered a powerful natural healer. It acts as a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, a natural liver detoxifier, is an anti-inflammatory and speeds metabolism. Combined with cauliflower, it is known to prevent prostate cancer. It has also long been used as a Chinese organic cure for depression.

11. Leeks
A regular intake of this simple vegetable decreases risk of stroke, colon cancer and atherosclerosis. Lowering sugar levels by assuring they are properly metabolized in the body, leeks are also a good source of calcium, which prevents blood clotting and promotes healthy skeletal systems.

12. Hemp Protein Powder
What most people are missing from their fruit smoothies is a source of protein. And instead of reaching for over-processed powders, hemp protein offers a simple solution. Klaus Ferlow, Honorary Master Herbalist and president of Hearts To Health Foundation, swears by hemp as a primary source of necessary nutrients. He says the seed is a hard-shelled nut containing protein, carbohydrates, fiber and a number of vitamins and minerals. He says it is one of the highest sources of essential fatty acids, which aid in fat transport and metabolism, and is necessary for the formal function of the reproductive system, hormone regulation and for breaking up cholesterol deposits in the arteries.

13. Figs
High in natural and simple sugars, fiber and minerals, figs contain impressive amounts of potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron, copper and manganese for such a compact fruit. In fact, dried figs contain 250mg of calcium per 100g, whereas milk contains only 118mg.

14. Mushrooms
Male health professionals underwent an experiment in which they ate twice the recommended daily intake of selenium, an antioxidant found in abundance in mushrooms. They cut their risk of prostate cancer by 65 percent. Portobello, brown and white button mushrooms in particular contain these cancer-fighting, antioxidant-heavy substances.

15. Virgin Coconut Oil
Next to olive oil in pan-destined culinary oils is virgin coconut oil. Coconut oil is used to improve hair and skin vitality, help cholesterol levels, assist in speeding metabolism and promote bone strength. Further, it fights kidney problems, heart disease and high blood pressure with its antifungal, antioxidant, antibacterial properties. Best part: It makes everything cooked alongside it taste absolutely fantastic.

16. Carrot JuiceCarrot juice provides one of the highest sources of vitamin A, which helps your ability to focus and maintain clear eyesight through sudden changes from bright to dark light and nighttime glares from passing automobiles. Infused with other fruits and vegetables, it almost tastes favorable.

17. Acai
Booming in popularity, the acai berry has come to Western culture in the form of Robeks juice, granola bowls, vitamin supplements, store-bought smoothies and more. From Brazil, the acai berry is known for its anti-aging properties, as it lessens the risk of free radicals in the body. Loaded with anthocyanins and flavonoids, the acai berry has topped the charts as the most beloved antioxidant to date.

18. Salmon
In order to keep hormones, tissues, enzymes and cells in balance, bodies require proteins (amino acids), many of which are conveniently found in the form of delectable fish meat. Rich in good omega fats, calcium, zinc, phosphorus, iron and countless necessary vitamins, salmon is the ideal dietary source of protein.

19. Kiwi
Elizabeth Ward, MS, RD, author of “The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to the New Food Pyramids” recommends kiwis over oranges or supplements when in need of vitamin C. “One large kiwi supplies your daily requirement for vitamin C,” she says. “It is also a good source of potassium, fiber, and a decent source of vitamin A and vitamin E.”

20. Quinoa
Trumping brown rice as the ideal carbohydrate is quinoa, a small semi-flavorless grain. Mixed with vegetables and spices, however, it cleans up nicely, acting as a filler grain high in all the nutrients your body craves. Elisa Zied, MS, RD, author of “Feed Your Family Right” says, “It is an ancient grain, easy to make, high in protein (8 grams in 1 cup cooked), fiber (5 grams per cup) and a naturally good source of iron.”

We’re not saying you have to go all Gwyneth and start eating macrobiotic twigs. We’re just suggesting that a little thought can save you a lot of weight.

Take this guy we know. We’ll call him Chip because, well, that’s his name. Chip’s a legal eagle whose late nights at the office require mega-amounts of caffeine, which, since he’s not a latte kind of guy, means he was mainlining via Mountain Dew. Now, for all of its yummy yellow goodness, the Dew packs a caloric wallop – 250 calories in a 20 oz. bottle – which, in turn, led the Chipster to pack on some pounds. At the gentle nudging of his girl, he swapped regular Dew for the diet one (which tastes the same but has ZERO calories) and was still able to burn the midnight oil but shed the excess poundage without suffering in the slightest.

The lesson learned? There are palatable swaps you can make that will taste great and be less filling. In some cases it’s as simple as switching from a brand’s “regular” product to its less-fattening, reduced-calorie cousin. In others, it’s a matter of rethinking a snack or a meal.

Have a flip through these 15 slides to see which of your usual grocery cart suspects aren’t doing your waistline any favors – and marvel at the difference a few measly tweaks can make…

Next: Starting with carbs

And what’s the best way to slim down to a toned, swimmer-like version of you without sacrificing hearty meals? Well, most trainers and nutritionists say a combo of regular exercise and eating healthy foods in modest proportions is the answer. Avanti advocates a “pro-body builder style” involving four to five modest meals a day, cooking at home, and eating proteins, carbs and fats in her online nutrition plan. And while all this could work, it’s easier said than done. There are factors like stress, genetics, social drinking, inconveniently located pizza shops and so on that can mess with your results.

Almost all diets use a strategy that involves restricting some form of food as a simple way to cut calories. While most are backed by scientific research, often paid for by the same company that deems them effective, many are short-term solutions that ultimately fail once you stop following the plan. “Any kind of deprivation diet usually lasts about three days before the cave-in,” says Avanti. “For men, the cave-in is usually a big burger/fries meal or possibly a pizza-delivery pig-out. This undoes all the previous days’ weight loss in one meal as the body catches up on the missing carbohydrates.”

It’s obvious that less energy in and more energy out makes you thinner. That said, the human body is complex, everyone is different and the same diet and exercise that work for one guy might not work for you. (Otherwise, we would all be on the Cookie Diet, and yes that is a real thing.) Does this mean you should experiment with a gazillion diets until you find the one that works for you? No. It’s all about what you can do long-term. And chances are you’re more likely to stick to a diet or workout routine that’s more “you.” To help, we’ve broken down some of the most popular weight-loss plans. Read on to plan your route to success and to recognize a common misstep in the journey to the perfect body.

Next: The Atkins diet