How To Have a Threesome

We asked a woman who’s had experience to tell guys how to have a threesome. So if you want to make sure you don’t blow it, follow her 7 rules.

By JL Scott

How To Have a Threesome

You may think women who are into threesomes are about as common as unicorns, but that’s not true. Those of us who are into them, however, will act as skittish as a unicorn if you do anything to freak us out before, during, or after we’re in bed having sex with you. And that’s why you need to know exactly how to have a threesome — because everything is heightened during the experience, and that includes the potential for both awesomeness and awkwardness.

So based on my experience having them — and on conversations I’ve had with other women who’ve had them, some of whom I’ve had them with — I’ve come up with seven rules for how to have a threesome that you absolutely need to follow. I can’t help you find two women who are into the idea of threesome sex, but once you do — and like I said, those women are more numerous than you probably think — my advice will ensure that you seal the deal.

Rule #1: Keep it Casual
Even though I’ve had several threesomes, I’ve never had one while I was in a relationship. Why? Because it would get weird. Even if you’re sure it wouldn’t. Even if she’s sure it wouldn’t. Sure, maybe it would work if you’re both polyamorous or into sex with other people as a lifestyle choice, but if that’s the case, chances are you don’t need to read this to learn how to have a threesome.

You can definitely do it with a woman you’ve just started seeing, but think twice if you want to be with her longterm. Personally, I’ve found the best combination is me + friend-with-benefits + his bisexual friend-with-benefits who is visiting from out of town. Ideally, the situation would happen organically, but you may want to help things along with games of “Never Have I Ever” or confessions about the craziest stuff you did in college.

Rule #2: Be Cool
So you’ve found two women who would like to go to bed with you at the same time. That’s terri — hey, uh, calm down. No, seriously, breathe. Breathe! Okay, that’s better. You don’t have to pretend you’re indifferent to it all, but you also don’t want to draw attention to the fact that what you’re doing is completely out of the ordinary. So don’t rush things. Even if the three of you just agreed you’re going to sleep together, keep it in your pants because nothing is going to happen for the next hour. Instead, you should some wine (but not too much, see Rule #3) and watch a DVD. But don’t make it porn — instead, choose a movie all three of you have probably seen before that’s relatively mindless. If neither of the women makes a move, start by resting your hand on one woman’s knee, then draping the other over the other girl’s shoulder. At this point, someone should make a joke. If it falls flat, turn to the old standby: Strip poker.

TAGS: how to have a threesome, sex, threesome, threesome advice