How To Smoke A Cigar (For Noobs)
Whether you’re smoking Cubans or Swishers, we’ll cover how to cut a cigar, light it, and smoke it without vomiting.
By Kevin S. Koenig
There’s more to smoking cigars than meets the eye, including lots of ritual and a little bit of showmanship. The wrong move — inhale like you’re pulling a bong hit — and you’re going to look like a n00b in front of other dudes who are puffing away enjoying their Churchills (we’ll explain what that is in a second).
While we can’t explain how to smoke a cigar without inviting the possibility of lung cancer or keeping the wretched stank off of your clothes or breath, we can offer tips like how to cut a cigar, how to choose one, and provide you with enough info to take part in a conversation about cigars, or fake your way through a cigar-smoking session when you’re celebrating or you’re too inebriated to turn one down.
*We apologize for the hefty amount of sexual innuendoes that appear in the copy, but hopefully you’ll enjoy them as much as we did.
#1. SIZE MATTERS
See what we mean? Sorry, you’re going to have to get used to it.
Cigar length is measured in inches while girth (heh heh) is measured using a ring gauge based on a 1/64 of an inch scale, meaning a cigar with a 64-inch ring size would be one inch in diameter. Generally, a thicker cigar will burn “cooler,” meaning that the smoke won’t be as hot when it hits your mouth.
Popular styles of cigars include Churchills (long and of average thickness), robustos (short and fat), and the various coronas (different sizes). Shape will effect the time it takes to smoke the cigar as well as the flavor.
There are seven basic shades of cigar colors with lots of different shades in between. Remember: a cigar with a pitch-black wrapper might be filled with much milder tobacco than its looks convey.