When I meet a guy off of Tinder or Bumble I expect some first date jitters. After all, it’s a little weird going from talking to someone from behind a keyboard or smartphone to striking up a conversation for a few hours without the help of emojis. But there are some things guys can do to present themselves as confident even when they’re not, because while it’s okay and normal to be a little nervous, you don’t want those jitters to hijack the date.
Embrace Your Anxiety
It sounds weird, right? But it’s proven to work. When you get anxious — which is just unresolved feelings — turn that into excitement. Really, it should be easy. Think about it: you’re with a chick you might actually enjoy being with. Thing is, she’ll bolt if you don’t show her who you are. So focus on your positives and don’t dwell on your flaws. Think positive and it’ll be positive. That’s not to say you won’t have a shitty time; it’s possible. But at least you’ll have a good time if the date goes down in flames. When you feel stuck, use visual cues or go off of the last thing she said to get her talking again. If she buttons up and you continue to press, lay off and see how she reacts. If she refuses to talk, time to cut bait.
Ditch Your Plan
Prepping is one thing — go in with an idea of what you want to talk about or present, but be ready to pivot. If she’s a talker, listen. If she’s a listener, talk. Take command when you need to and lay off when you think you should; it’s about trusting your gut.
Remember You’re There To Have Fun
Nobody is putting a gun to your head to be there (hopefully). So remind yourself that a date isn’t work — it’s a date. If you need a cocktail to settle down, sip on one. Should you down it? Probably not. If things go well and I take you home there is no worse way to end the night than with whiskey dick. Well, for me, anyway.
Take Her Somewhere You Feel Comfortable
Your first date jitters can dwindle by choosing a place where you feel comfortable. You don’t have to tell her that you’re a regular or that you’ve been there before, but if she lets you choose, go for broke. Of course, don’t choose a place that’ll make her feel weird or skeeved out. A biker bar or some dim-lit watering hole may not be her style. Provide her three spots, two of which you’re super into. That way you have a 75 percent shot at being in a place you’ll enjoy.
Also Read: 5 Reasons Why You Should Date a Cat Lady