Old-Timey Surgical Instruments That Were Worse Than Death
If the sound of a dentist drill sends chills up your spine, these old-timey surgical tools will probably make you wet yourself.
By Zack Zeigler
Jugum Penis (1880s-1920s)
Why was the penis bear trap invented? Why, to prevent young men from suffering the terrible fate of spermatorrhoea of course. What the hell is spermatorrhoea? Basically, it’s having a wet dream. A clip attached the ring to the base of the penis, and if you were unlucky enough to have a sexy dream, the jagged edges would greet your little soldier with a love tap. Of course, dudes get hard pretty much every night no matter what, so victims would have had this nightmare to look forward to every time they went to sleep. (Also, yes, we’re aware it’s not technically a surgical tool, but it’s a penis bear trap.)
Circumcision Knife (1775-1785)
We promise this is the last dick mangler in the story. This knife wouldn’t look out of place in the hands of a witch doctor, but would you let it anywhere near your junk? Or your kid’s junk? Well, people did just that in the late 18th century, when parents were totally cool letting this prison shank remove foreskin from their little one’s little one.