Looking back at our 12 Hilarious Old Baseball Cards and 16 More Hilarious Old Baseball Cards posts made us realize a few things: 1) Nolan Ryan had no issues hanging brain for the camera, 2) we’re idiots and should have kept those goddam cards, and 3) there was still mileage to get from names like Rusty Kuntz and Stubby Clapp.
So we dug a little deeper and found some of the worst last names in sports (read: funny last names in sports). We’re sure they’re all fine people — save Mr. Fuka. Fuka us? How about Fuka you, buddy! — but we won’t let the fact that their parents hated them keep us from busting a few chops.
We’ll admit that a few are are only funny when compounded with a first name — Held is a perfectly fine surname until you put Woody in front of it. That said, from STDs and colloquial terms for genitalia to insults and suggested bathroom activity, these are 29 of the funniest names of athletes.