Real-Life Video Game Power-Ups
Video game power-ups are great … when they’re in video games. In real life, it’s often a different story.
By Matt Berical
POWER-UP: Eating a red and white mushroom. The fast-moving ’shroom endows everyone’s favorite stereotype with an extra hit; increased height, speed, and strength; and a molto al-dente head that can smash through brick.
IN REAL LIFE: Amanita Muscaria is a white-speckled red fungus found throughout the Northern Hemisphere. If you feast on one during your next nature walk, you won’t be better at busting Goombas, but you will suffer stomach pains, muscle spasms, and hallucinations thanks to the psychoactive toxins Ibotenic Acid and Muscimol. Although many hippies and degenerates do ingest the ’shroom to experience euphoria and lucid dreaming, large quantities of it can kill. Woopalah!