Real-Life Video Game Power-Ups

Video game power-ups are great … when they’re in video games. In real life, it’s often a different story.

By Matt Berical

Mario mushroomGAME: Super Mario Bros., et al.

POWER-UP: Eating a red and white mushroom. The fast-moving ’shroom endows everyone’s favorite stereotype with an extra hit; increased height, speed, and strength; and a molto al-dente head that can smash through brick.

IN REAL LIFE: Amanita Muscaria is a white-speckled red fungus found throughout the Northern Hemisphere. If you feast on one during your next nature walk, you won’t be better at busting Goombas, but you will suffer stomach pains, muscle spasms, and hallucinations thanks to the psychoactive toxins Ibotenic Acid and Muscimol. Although many hippies and degenerates do ingest the ’shroom to experience euphoria and lucid dreaming, large quantities of it can kill. Woopalah!

TAGS: chimps, Michael Jackson, power-ups, Resident Evil, steroids, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, video games

 

Post a comment:

Pica Kraft (Sun, 11 Aug 2013 22:39:54 +0000): Love the tags

Comments

Post a comment: