Ted And 10 Other Bears We’d
Have a Beer With
The new movie Ted is about a teddy bear who talks — and drinks. But Ted isn’t the only bear with whom we’d happily crack open a brewski.
By Michael Irons
WINNIE THE POOH
From books and toys to TV specials and feature films, Pooh Bear and his motley crew of buddies who reside in the Hundred Acre Wood have kept kids captivated ever since A.A. Milne first wrote the bear into a poem in 1924. Actually, Pooh really blew up after Disney acquired the rights to him in 1961 and gave him a fatter tummy and a red shirt — but, oddly, no pants. Running around the woods without pants, eating honey and tormenting uptight rabbits and morose donkeys? Not a bad life, Pooh.
Yes, his jokes so lame even Carlos Mencia wouldn’t steal them, but Fozzie manages to be lovable and hilarious nonetheless. And while we have no idea what “Wocka wocka wocka!” means, we do know that it’s funny when he says it. But what truly sets Fozzie apart is what a great bro he is. You know how you have buddies whose girlfriends are kind of awful, and how it can then be tough to be friends with those guys? Well, Fozzie is best friends with Kermit, who’s dating an uptight, loud, black-hole-of-need that quite literally is a pig. And Fozzie has stuck by Kermit’s side for decades. Right on, bro.
In the movie The Jungle Book, Baloo is the laid-back fella who teaches Mowgli how to sing, dance, and appreciate the “bear” necessities of life. On the TV show TaleSpin, he was an ace pilot who also happened to be kind of a slob. In the actual book The Jungle Book, he was more of a Mr. Miyagi-type — old and wise. Much like a charming yet insane person suffering multiple personality disorder, Baloo won us over no matter who he was.