Tyler Hamilton: “It was my dead brother!”
The American cyclist attributed his positive blood doping test in 2004 to a chimera — basically, a partially formed twin that was inside of his own body. Apparently Hamilton hoped that investigators would be too creeped out by the whole thing that they wouldn’t ask anymore questions, but no such luck. (Hamilton later confessed to doping during a Grand Jury investigation into Lance Armstrong, in which he also implicated Armstrong.)

Ben Johnson: “It was an old-timey drink!”
After testing positive for the steroid stanozolol at the 1988 Summer Olympics, Jonson, who set a World Record in the 100 meters, went so far as to link the positive test to a spiked sarsaparilla energy drink he’d had before his race.

Frank Vandenbroucke: “It was my dog!”
The Belgian cyclist tested positive for Clenbuterol (normally used to treat asthma), which he claimed was for his dog. Either Vandenbrouke was lying, or his dog drugged him so that Vandenbroucke wouldn’t be away from home so much.

TAGS: doping, Floyd Landis, Lance Armstrong, Manny Ramirez, sports, steroids