#2. Jason Dufner Gets A Piece | August 11, 2013
Golf was invented in Scotland, but no one grabs asses like us colonials. After winning the PGA Championship, a good old Ohio boy, did what any American would – he hugged his wife, and grabbed her ass on national TV. To add some further “USA!” to the moment, Dufner then tossed her his dip can, which she dutifully held as he celebrated the win.
#3. 30 Second GOOOOOALL! | June 16, 2014
It took forward – and aspiring rapper — Clint Dempsey only 30 seconds to score a goal in Team USA’s opening World Cup match against Ghana. And the display of American dominance was only the first most Americanest thing to happen at the games. The second? By losing to Germany by less than the point differential of Portugal’s win, Team USA actually moves on to the knockout round. See? Even when we lose, we win!