Video: Dads Fight Each Other on a Commuter Train

Is there any better gift than the gift of watching two guys who are clearly too old to fight fight? Especially if one of them is absolutely shithoused drunk? And scream-slurs, "I have a seat on the [Chicago] Board of Trade. I will cut you in half!" And the whole argument is over the fact that the drunk guy made a phone call on a train car that's supposed to be reserved for passengers who want complete silence? (Though, to be fair, if a guy did that on 90-minute commute from a job that is slowly murdering us to a house occupied by screaming kids, we'd be pretty enraged too.) Oh, and keep an ear out for the bonus ethic slur as well!