Acne breakouts were supposed to end after puberty. That turned out to be a myth for a lot of us. And when we get zits as adults it’s far more embarrassing than popping wood in gym class ever was. But thanks to scientists who we imagine had the zittiest childhoods of all time, new medication that could wipe out common forms of acne might be forthcoming.
Researchers have determined benign viruses called bacteriophages that chillax on our skin and feed only on bacteria go all agro when they encounter Propionibacterium acnes — the bacteria that causes acne. Scientists believe that since bacteriophages are natural predators they may prove to be more effective than the synthetic face washes we use today. More tests are still needed to confirm their theory, so until they know for sure and are then able to figure out a way to see if the viruses would be willing to pack up and move into acne meds, we’ll have to stick with products like these …
Anthony Logistics Acne Cleanser ($12)
When you need to call in the big guns to attack a nasty breakout, this is a good option. It’s engineered to target and kill (painlessly, of course) problematic areas with a combo of salicylic acid and plant extracts. When it’s done beating the sh*t out of bacteria, the chamomile and vitamin B5 will repair, restore, and sooth your skin.
Kyoku For Men Oil Control Lotion ($15)
Too much oil in your skin can clog pores. Clogged pores equal more zits. More zits equal more masturbation and less getting laid. This dual-action microparticle formula gets deep into pores and absorbs oils. It also contains SPF-15 for extra protection against the elements. In short, it’ll help clear skin. Unfortunately, that’s not a guarantee that you’ll get laid more. Sorry.
Matte for Men Antioxidant Daily Facial Cleanser ($28)
This oil-free, citrus-based formula will keep your face free of zits without drying it out or giving it a shine that’ll blind passersby. It works to exfoliate dead skin cells and adds a jolt of vitamins E and B, as well as antioxidants to help keep your skin looking and feeling refreshed.