Everybody wants to know how much money everybody else makes — but nobody ever tells. And after reading PARADE Magazine’s What People Earn survey, we know why.
It just pisses you off.
We waded through just a small portion of the more than 150 people PARADE featured, and we found plenty to be irritated about — both because some people earn far too little, and because other bozos make far too much. Oh, and by the way? The hack magician who performed at your nephew’s birthday party probably earns more than you ….
Dave C. | Astrologer | Phoenix, Ariz. | $177,000
That’s funny. This morning our horoscope read, “Jupiter is rising in your Neptune house. Which means you’ll feel sick to your stomach after finding out how much I make.” Maybe astrology isn’t total bullsh*t after all. (Just kidding. It absolutely is!)
Graham P. | Ocean Lifeguard | Ocean City, N.J. | $7,000
Graham’s job is to run barefoot on sand dotted with used hypodermic needles, leap into toxic water, and get smeared with Drakkar Noir and coconut oil as he drags drunk Jersey Shore extras to safety. He should earn more.
Frank S. | Plastic Surgeon | Las Vegas, Nev. | $1,000,000
Okay, so maybe you don’t agree with the kind of doctor he is. But we can all agree that doctors deserve to be paid well for the (usually) valuable services they provide.
Steve C. | Meteorologist | Warwick, R.I. | $90,000
Getting it right about 30 percent of the time may not sound like something you should get paid almost $100K for, but keep in mind that baseball players make multimillions doing it.