Why Getting Back Together Doesn’t Work

A new study has found what your friends already knew: reuniting with your ex makes you an insufferable jackass.

By Doug Barry

According to a new study conducted by the love doctors at the University of Kansas, being stuck in an on-again-off-again relationship will probably make you feel like the dissatisfied, disillusioned, uncommunicative, indecisive lout your significant other accused you of being the last time you broke up.

Turns out that “cyclical partners” — couples that break up, then get back together, then break up again, etc. — were more unhappy and less confident. This, in turn, tended to cause them to make impulsive decisions about things they really shouldn’t have made impulsive decisions about, like buying a home, getting married, and having kids. So then why do so many couples fall into the cyclical trap ? According to the study authors, it’s for the same reasons you and your ex probably got back together: You missed each other, or you didn’t really understand why you broke up, or you thought that whatever problems you had were magically solved while you were apart. Or, you just wanted to get laid again.

TAGS: breaking up, dating advice, relationships, science


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Mark Yolas (Tue, 20 Mar 2012 00:10:43 +0000): Yea ain't it the truth.
Marla Yolas (Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:32:38 +0000): Stupid is as stupid does.
Petra Kathleen Ludwig (Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:46:08 +0000): whatever...haters...it's not ALWAYS the case...
Kelly Gaudin (Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:47:21 +0000): ~TRUE~
Renée Gilbert (Thu, 05 Apr 2012 18:59:50 +0000): It is extremely rare for on again off again folks to stay together or be mentally healthy. This behavior is mostly out of habit and/or fear. The ONLY way to make that relationship work is to do some serious soul searching and having a good therapist.
Amie Amaya Kravitz (Thu, 05 Apr 2012 19:31:13 +0000): ha... I say never go back but I learned the hard way... or when you are on hurting big time..in case of emergancy
Petra Kathleen Ludwig (Thu, 05 Apr 2012 22:34:24 +0000): sorry but while this article and the "findings" "concluded" in the "study" may hold some valuable truth, I find the comments made by other readers to be completely biased almost as it someone paid them to say what they said. Every couple's situation is different. Only the two of them know what is going on between them and any outcome is to be determined by THEM, NOT their friends. No one should be discouraged from trying their damnedest to hold on to LOVE, if it's not meant to be it won't. Nobody should judge a situation that is not their own!
Renée Gilbert (Fri, 06 Apr 2012 15:39:53 +0000): Amie, me too!
Connie Sella Messer (Tue, 14 Aug 2012 20:37:49 +0000): You didn't say why the shouldn't.. But usually I feel they don't make it because they do the same things they did in the first place and don't fix problems.. then a few do make it. The sad thing is these couples really do seem to care about that person and want to be with them. If they would get some help the may make it. (no I'm not a doc or a speller..lol) just my own observations... ;) ha~.


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