It's true, your wiener is most likely dirty. And by wiener we mean hot dog, frankfurter, dugout dog, pigs anus — obviously. What did you think we meant, sicko? A recent review of 75 hot dog brands found that 14 percent of the 375 dogs tested found traces of human DNA. And for vegetarians who boast that they're eating habits are far superior because they eat meatless hot dogs — whatever the hell that consists of — we have more bad news: 10 percent of the vegetarian dogs were found to contain meat. It gets worse. Unlisted ingredients and substitutions were also found in the testing pool, including chicken, beef, turkey, and lamb. Pork was found in about three percent of the test samples, which probably makes those who avoid the meat for religious purposes extremely happy. These are all good things to remember next time you're in line for a dugout dog at the stadium. Instead, go with the hamburger, which we're guessing contains hoove particles and insect guts. Delicious!
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