If there was a scale from 1 to 10 of things that are important to you, with 1 being “decorative pillows” and 10 being “not getting ball cancer,” I’m guessing kissing would clock in at about a 4. But for most women, including me? At least an 8 or a 9. Which means if you want to hook with a new girl, or keep your current one happy, figuring out how to be a better kisser is a must.
There are five basic smooches every man should be intimately familiar with, and I’ve taken the liberty of breaking each one down for you. Want to kiss me?
1. THE FIRST KISS
What you do before your tongues touch is just as important as what you do after. Since you and your date are practically strangers and aren’t familiar with reading each other’s cues, it’s important to give her some notice before you swoop in. That way you won’t end up bumping heads, bashing teeth, or accidentally kissing her chin. I recommend brushing your lips softly against hers before you start with any serious tongue action.
2. THE PUBLIC KISS
Studies show that couples who engage in mild forms of PDA are happier and more connected to each other than couples who keep their hands (and lips) off of each other in public. I’m not advocating you engage in a slobber-fest in the middle of Home Depot, but a spontaneous kiss, while you’re out and about together, will score you huge points with your lady. Just don’t go overboard; public kisses should be no more graphic than a G-rated “you may now kiss the bride” wedding kiss.
3. THE “I WANT YOU” KISS
This is where you unleash the beast. Push her up against a wall, run your hands through her hair, and press your tongue into hers with purpose. And don’t worry about coming across as too aggressive. I polled some of my girlfriends and they all agreed that it’s hot as hell when a man takes charge like this. Plus, once the clothes start coming off and foreplay commences it’s going to be a lot harder to impress her with your smooching technique since your mouth can’t be in two places at once. (If I have to explain what I mean, you’ve got more problems than I know how to solve.)
4. THE SEX KISS
I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to kiss a woman during sex. You don’t have to be joined at the lips the entire time, but occasionally laying one on her will turn her one and make her feel more connected to you. I recommend softly pressing your lips up against hers the moment you enter her, and then backing off for a minute or so while you two find your groove before kissing her again. Don’t limit yourself to her mouth either; the neck and ear lobes are both fair game. Be sure to pay attention and as she gets closer to having an orgasm, pull back and follow her lead. Some women find that it’s distracting to be kissed when they’re trying to focus on their happy ending, while others report that it enhances the experience.
5. THE 10,000th KISS
After you’ve been with a woman for a while, and you know exactly what makes her tick, kissing is usually one of those things that fall by the wayside. But a great kiss can do everything from bringing you closer together to rekindle the heat in your relationship. Research suggests that men transmit testosterone to women through their saliva, which in turn helps boost a woman’s sex drive. I am personally a fan of an old-fashioned make-out session that only goes about as far as second base. (A car or other semi-private place is an ideal spot.) It’s novel, sweet, and also slightly kinky.