Untangling the Reasons You’re Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

We all have preferences in relationships and some of us may find ourselves drawn to emotionally unavailable men. It can be difficult to understand why you are drawn to these types of relationships and how to change the dynamic.

Let’s explore the potential reasons why you might be attracted to someone who is not readily available from an emotional standpoint.

Reasons You’re Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Men

The Appeal of a Challenge

One possible reason for being attracted to emotionally unavailable partners is that it can feel like a challenge, especially if you have had past success with similar relationships. It can also be an ego boost when you succeed in breaking down the walls of someone who is not as open or expressive with their emotions. However, it is important to remember that while this feeling may be temporarily satisfying, it likely will not lead to long-term fulfillment in your relationship.

Fear of Intimacy

Another reason you might find yourself gravitating towards emotionally unavailable men could be due to fear of intimacy or vulnerability on your part. If you are afraid of getting too close or connected with someone, it might make sense that you would choose partners who don’t allow themselves to become too attached either. If this resonates, consider what patterns from your past could be influencing this behavior in order for you to move forward in a healthier way.

Fear of Rejection

It can also be common for people who have experienced rejection from previous relationships or family members in the past to seek out someone who will never fully commit themselves—emotionally or otherwise—to them. This type of relationship can give a false sense of security because even though there won’t necessarily be any real connection, there also won’t ever be any real rejection either, since they cannot give something they do not have.

Unresolved Issues From the Past   

Our past experiences—particularly any unresolved issues—can have an impact on our current relationships as well. For example, if someone has had a bad experience in the past with an emotionally available partner and never fully dealt with it, then they may be more likely to be drawn toward those who are emotionally unavailable as a way of protecting themselves from getting hurt again by repeating the same mistake.  

In addition, someone may subconsciously seek out an emotionally unavailable partner because it feels familiar and comfortable due to unresolved issues from earlier in life that still need attention and healing.

Lack Of Awareness   

Sometimes people simply don’t realize that their partners aren’t being honest about their emotional availability until it’s too late. This lack of awareness can lead them into relationships where their emotional needs aren’t being met.

Many times these individuals are so focused on how much they like the other person that they ignore warning signs or red flags that should alert them that their partner isn’t willing (or able) to commit on an emotional level.  

Additionally, some people may lack awareness about what healthy relationships look like due to past negative experiences or lack of positive role models growing up; thus making it harder for them recognize when their current relationship is unhealthy or unfulfilling on an emotional level.

Final Thoughts: Understanding why we are drawn certain types of people in our lives is an important first step in taking control over our own choices and allowing ourselves to move towards healthier and more fulfilling relationships. While it may seem attractive at first glance, being involved with an emotionally unavailable partner often leads only to disappointment and frustration down the road; so take time now spend some time reflecting on why this dynamic appeals to you so that you can make better choices going forward.