Getting peed on might not be “the norm” for sexual activity, but it’s not unheard of. After all, four percent of men claimed they were “into” it while being the predominant group to admit as much.
Submitting to “golden showers” is a common enough kink that it has its own name (“urophilia”). It has also enjoyed a rise in popularity in the wake of scandals from famous people like R. Kelly and former President Donald Trump.
In the following article, we will examine why some people enjoy this sexual activity so much. (And why you might want to give it some thought before dismissing it outright.) Let’s get busy!
Why the Whiz?
There is some debate as to how long urophilia has been “a thing.” It’s hard to put a date on it as artwork going back to 100 A.D. depicts some form of urine-involved sexual activity.
That’s old enough for us to assume that as long as people have been getting busy, they’ve been getting whizzy. It’s not the type of thing a person admits outside the cover of anonymity. For those brave enough to talk about it, the fetish revolves around seven basic turn-ons.
Feelings of Dominance
Think about why a dog sniffs out that special place to go pee. He or she wants the world to know this is “my territory.” The same is true for fetishists who enjoy taking the dominant role.
Peeing on their partner is a way of saying, “You are mine.” They “mark” their lover with a scent that is specific to them and meant to convey total dominance. Not surprisingly, the opposite can be true as well.
Wanting to Be Humiliated
So many men are drawn to urophilia because they want to be dominated. This especially is true among powerful men who spend their days making important decisions and having people answer to them.
The acceptance of being peed on is their way of releasing control into the hands of a sexual partner. There is something degrading about feeling another person’s waste product pour over your chest and face, and stomach.
It’s not the only way sexually active people (men especially) like to be humiliated. Other activities, such as small penis humiliation, foot worship, whipping, and facesitting, offer the same type of sexual arousal. It’s just another method.
Going Against Societal Norms
Some people enjoy bringing urination into sexual activity because they know it’s taboo. These natural rulebreakers realize you don’t talk about things like sex and going to the restroom in polite company.
Why not combine the two in the bedroom with a willing partner? Doing so serves as the ultimate “take that” to society at large. After being forced into social conventions all day, you can’t really blame a person for wanting to break free in private!
Tapping Into the Primal Self
Some say human beings are just glorified animals. It’s hard to feel like an animal, though, when you’re picking the kids up from soccer practice, fixing dinner, attending work functions, and planning your financial future.
These mundane activities remove us from our animalistic origins. The act of bringing pee into the bedroom is a way of reminding ourselves that we’re merely animals.
It can be freeing to tap back into that primal state once in a while or even frequently when bedding a partner. If feeling wild and uninhibited is your thing, peeing on your partner (or being peed on by them) is great for recreating that feeling.
Reliving an Earlier Sexual Encounter
Maybe you had an early sexual encounter that involved a partner losing control of his or her bladder. Perhaps it wasn’t a sexual encounter at all but a mix of hormone-induced arousal at the sight of a parent or sibling or friend peeing with the door open.
Whatever the case, those early feelings can get mixed into one’s sexual development and stick around for a long time to come. If you really want to know where it all began, think back to your past to see if there was any, pardon the pun, crossing of the streams.
Feeling Closer to a Sexual Partner
Another reason for pee play or a pee fetish is that you sincerely wish to show your love for a partner. Ever feel like you loved or wanted someone so much that even having sex with them didn’t feel like you were close enough?
Some people enjoy the act of being peed on by their partner because they want an even deeper closeness. If both parties are aware this is the reason, it can even intensify emotional intimacy.
In these cases, it’s especially helpful if you both are on the same page. That doesn’t mean you have to pee on each other, but it does mean both parties should be in sync emotionally.
Stumbling Into It
It’s possible that one doesn’t know at all that they’re attracted to the act of being peed on until they come upon it naturally. Say you’re having intercourse and a partner loses control and pees on you during orgasm.
You might not realize it until that moment that you’re drawn to it. From that point forward, though, you’re hooked.
Stumbling upon the fetish might also happen by viewing pornography. “Watersports” videos, for example, were on the rise in the wake of the Steele Dossier “golden showers” reports allegedly involving former President Trump.
The “watersports” term refers to videos that feature sexual partners peeing on one another. They are very popular online in an NSFW kind of way.
What Comes Next?
Now you know why people enjoy urophilia. You might even be thinking about taking it up yourself.
That’s okay. No judgment! If this is something you want to try, however, there are some things that you’ll want to get in place first.
Talking With Your Partner
Open communication is the best thing you can do for your sex life. It should be a two-way street, and you should both be open to what the other wants without passing judgment.
If any of the things you want are dealbreakers, it’s good to know them upfront before you try them in the bedroom. That said, it can be rather difficult to bring something like urophilia up.
There are two things you can do:
- Discuss several fetishes openly, including urophilia in the mix, and make a list of things you’d be willing to try
- Ask your partner directly about it
Your partner will either reject the idea outright or be into it. Either way, you avoid a litany of frustration.
Watching Videos Together
Once you’ve communicated your interest, watch a few watersports of your own. If your partner is on the fence about incorporating pee play into the bedroom, a video might help to set his or her mind at ease.
Of course, it can also serve as a turnoff. You won’t know until you try. Once you do know, however, you’ll know whether you can live with where the relationship is going.
Each of you might be too nervous to jump right into the deep end of the pool. In that case, you might decide to simulate the experience before going there “for real.”
In that case, a product like the Whizzinator can help you work out the kinks. It does this by channeling synthetic urine through a separate device. The experience gives the impression that you or your partner are peeing on each other without being the real deal.
It’s entirely possible that simulating the experience will help. Any inhibitions you might feel can dissipate when you get a sense of what the experience will look and feel like once you decide to actually do it.
Another way of “easing in” is by separating the act from the bedroom. If one partner isn’t into it or needs some convincing, have them pee into a glass you can use later in private.
Going for It
Hopefully, the goal of making this happen will finally be achieved. At least, it will if you really want it. When that time comes, there are some recommended practices to keep in mind.
Firstly, whoever the aggressor is in pee play should make the experience as pleasant as possible. Prime the pump with at least the recommended eight eight-ounce glasses of water. Sugary or heavily caffeinated beverages can cause an unpleasant taste and aroma.
Furthermore, make sure at least eight ounces are consumed 30 minutes prior to sexual activity. That will make it easier to release when the moment is right.
Next, decide when and how the release will come. Some prefer to consume it, while others are only drawn to the feel and warmth. Be on the same page with each other, so you each know what to expect.
Lastly, keep it safe. Urine is sterile for the most part, but that doesn’t mean it’s particularly healthy. Make sure the peeing party understands to pee “on” not “in.” The latter might disrupt the pH levels of the vagina and lead to infection.
Final Tips for the Shy
All sexual fantasies, no matter how taboo, can be hard to talk about at first. Before we leave you, we want to give you some helpful tips for what you can do if you’ve yet to work up the nerve to discuss this with your partner.
Or, perhaps you’ve discussed it but are still unsure about turning talk into action. Here are some last-minute tips to make this fantasy a reality.
Pee in Front of Each Other
Couples that are still too nervous around one another to use the restroom are probably going to have a tough time. They can’t possibly make a jump as bold as this until they can see one another in the appropriate context.
You can start by leaving the door open when you pee. Gradually, consider letting your partner come in and brush their teeth, floss, or put on deodorant while you’re taking care of things.
Consider a Little Liquid Courage
Alcohol abuse is discouraged. That said, a little liquid courage never hurt when it came to loosening uptight morals. If you feel like you need a little help getting started, crack open a bottle of wine.
Don’t go full Leonard and Penny in Big Bang Theory with your heads down in the toilet and sink, respectively, throwing up your guts. Just use enough to where you feel more uninhibited.
Practice With Other Fetishes
Spice up the bedroom with some fetishes that are, on the surface, more palatable for each of you. Take turns doing what you want with one another.
Oftentimes, the toughest thing about pushing beyond your sexual limits is getting started. If you’re the one wanting to try pee play, start by pushing your partner to reveal his or her fantasy. Fulfilling theirs can make it easier to go for the ask when the time is right.
Do Not Force It
Being unable or unwilling to fulfill each other’s sexual fantasies is generally a sign of a more severe relationship problem. Take this for what it’s worth if you’re having trouble getting your partner to agree to it.
Even if you have difficulties bringing it up, that can be a sign. Sexual communication should come easy and even seem exciting. It shouldn’t be so terrifying that you bury the urge to bring it up.
As difficult as this might be to hear, consider finding a new mate should any of these unfortunate scenarios be your reality. You’ll be much happier once you do find a willing partner than you ever were without them.
Being Peed on in the Bedroom Is Not That Unusual
Getting peed on can definitely be sexy. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise if it makes you aroused. It’s not weird; it’s just your “thing.”
If you are into it, it helps to know why, so you can articulate that to your lover. Whether you enjoy it because of an early experience, the feel of dominance/humiliation, or a more primal desire, you’ll feel more confident to communicate your needs by knowing.
Just remember that your partner’s blessing and the right amount of preparation are essential. And don’t let shyness be an excuse!
Good luck as you pursue this sensual desire. For more sexual health and lifestyle tips, check out some of our additional posts!