Figuring out that your girlfriend isn’t the one sounds like it should be a no-brainer. But think about it: People get divorced all the time, so plenty of dudes get it wrong. Plus, every guy has a buddy who’s been dating an awful she-beast for years. (And the same is true for women dating terrible dudes.)

So clearly, it’s not necessarily easy to admit to yourself that your girlfriend isn’t the one. But there are telltale signs that can give you an idea that your relationship isn’t heading anywhere — or that it shouldn’t be heading anywhere.

1. SHE’S AMAZING — BUT YOU STILL CAN’T COMMIT
She’s smart, sexy, and doesn’t get mad when you go to grab a quick drink with your friends and accidentally road trip to Atlantic City on a three-day bender. What a gal! And yet even though you know she’s “perfect,” you can’t visualize yourself with her forever. It’s what psychotherapist Ken Page calls “the wave of distancing,” and it’s pretty common. “You’re with somebody who’s decent, kind, and available — and yet you get bored, judgmental, and annoyed,” he says. “So take a step back and let the wave pass.” Good advice — unless, of course, the “wave” lasts for six months. Then it’s probably not a wave, and either this relationship isn’t right, or you’re not ready for any relationship.

2. YOUR SEX LIFE IS LOUSY
It’s surprisingly easy to tell yourself that a less-than-enjoyable sex life is okay if everything else about your partner and relationship is great. After all, it’d be superficial and shallow to put so much emphasis on sex, right? Hell no. In fact, a recent study found that couples in secure and happy relationships have better sex lives than those in insecure, ambivalent, or detached relationships. In other words, a satisfying sex life is a key part of a good relationship.

TAGS: breaking up, marriage, relationships, sex