How To Sell Your Body — Literally

Rob someone at gunpoint? No, thank you. Get a second job? Nah. Earn cash by selling sperm, plasma, or hair? Now we’re talking!

By Zack Zeigler

People go to great lengths to earn money. They rob banks. They star in terrible sequels to already terrible movies. And some even get a second job.

Another thing you can do? Sell your body. We don’t mean flashing some leg on a street corner, but literally selling your body. From the hair on your head to the plasma running through your veins, if you know what to do and where to go, you can pocket hundreds, even thousands, of dollars. Here’s how to cash in… 

Option #1: Sell Your Hair — $200-600

Before you grab a pair of shears and go all Edward Scissorhands, make sure your rug is worth something:
* It should be 10 inches or longer.
* Never permed, colored, or bleached.
* Washed only with organic hair products. (Many OTC shampoos contain chemicals like sodium lauryl sulfate that damage hair. Also, the chemicals in cigarettes do as much good for your hair as they do for your lungs and breath.)

How You Cash In: Onlinehairaffair.com is an auction site where you can list your hair, or you can post an ad where all weird stuff has a home — Craigslist.

Option # 2: Sell Your Sperm — $50-$200 per visit (up to $1,200 per year)

It’s not as easy as grabbing a nudie mag, shutting the door, and aiming the finished product into a mug. The California Cryobank (CBC) has operations throughout the U.S., and they won’t entertain the possibility of letting you unbuckle your pants if you aren’t:
* 19-38 years old.
* 5’9″ or taller.
* Attending a four-year university or in possession of a bachelor’s or advanced degree.
* A legal resident.
* In solid health.

Outside of the CBC, criteria will vary — but not by much.

How You Cash In: Fill out an online app. If it’s a go, you’ll be called for a consultation. Pass that and you can start spreading your seed and getting paid two to three times per week at $50-$200 per visit. All together, the process will take at least three to six months. And yes, you will be kicked out if you ask the nurse’s aid for a happy ending. (So we’ve heard…)

Option # 3: Sell Your Plasma — $20-35 per visit (you can donate twice every seven days)

Plasma is a yellow liquid component of blood that’s packed with proteins. Medical uses include treatment of immune system deficiencies and diseases like rabies, rubella, and hepatitis B. There’s a huge worldwide demand for plasma, and you can contribute to the cause if you’re:
* At least 18 years old.
* Weigh at least 110 pounds.
* Have strong iron levels.
* Free of HIV/AIDS, mad cow disease (seriously), hepatitis, heart disease, diabetes, or tattoos in the past 12 months.

Every 56 days you can donate whole blood, according to the Red Cross, but donate means you’ll get zero dollars. And while you can help save lives — every two seconds someone in the U.S. needs blood — you certainly can’t buy an iPad with a blood bank receipt.

How You Cash In: Do a Web search for a plasma donation center. Go there, bring a government issued ID, proof of residence, and a social security card. They’ll hammer you with medical questions and an exam, and extract the plasma. All together, including the donation, your first trip will take about two hours.

TAGS: cash, job

 

Post a comment:

Jin Jiang (Fri, 11 May 2012 18:40:26 +0000): this is a sick sick sick column.
Michael Phares (Thu, 06 Dec 2012 03:34:03 +0000): um not really.

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