2. She Can’t Stop Kissing You
I once dated a guy who tried to make out the entire time we were having sex. Clearly he had watched The Notebook
, realized that anyone with a vagina loved the Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams boning scene, and thought, “Oh, the characters kiss really passionately during sex — all chicks must like that!” But for a lot of women, it takes a ton of concentration and just the right position to climax during sex. Kissing and nuzzling during foreplay? Good. Kissing and nuzzling while I’m trying to center my thoughts and maintain a perfect 45-degree angle with your crotch? Distracting. If you go to give her a smooch and she bats you away or twists her head, don’t take it personally — it just means she’s focusing on bringing it home for the win.
3. Her Face Looks Pretty
If you saw a screengrab of yourself while your, um, hand and penis
were fighting, you'd probably look like you’re a) being murdered or b) about to cry. The sad truth is that we all tend to look like we’re in pain — i.e., pretty unattractive — when we’re in the heat of the moment. During sex, you want her to be making an expression that’s befitting of a root canal, not smiling like she's on the red carpet.
NEXT: YOU ONLY DID IT DOGGYSTYLE