The Periodic Table of the Elements is nice and all, but it classifies elements, and who uses elements? The Periodic Table of Swearing, on the other hand, classifies something that we all use every day: filthy language. This particular table is, in fact, an actual table, with buttons you can push to hear creative swears said out loud by a computerized voice with a British accent. Some of our favorites: “Face Like a Sh!tflap,” “Bastard F*cking Tit,” and of course, “Arseholes For Goalposts.” We’re not sure what it means either.
Sadly, the table isn’t being mass produced; it’s being shown at a London art gallery.