For the single women over 40, you may have been through numerous relationships before, or are divorced and haven’t been in the dating scene ever since. Whether or not you have your heart open to finding love again, you may already hold a certain perspective towards relationships; which could very well be affecting your opportunities to love again. While you may not have realized this yourself, you could be feeding yourself lies regarding love. The following are 10 of the most common lies that single women over 40 tell themselves:
1. There are No More Good Single Guys Left
This seems to be a commonly shared opinion among single ladies after a certain age. However, when we look at the statistics, half of the adult population in the U.S. is single, so this has to mean that there is definitely a good number of nice single males left. Men are likely to get divorced for the same reasons that women do, be it through the intrusion of a third-party, or a change in feelings and situations. There are plenty of men aged 40 and above who are single and seeking love, so don’t fool yourself with such a lie any longer, and go forth in search of your life partner.
2. My Shot at Love has Come and Gone
It’s natural that many widows feel that they will never be able to find another man that can match up to their husbands. However, since you’ve found love once, know that love can come by once again! Instead of constantly comparing men to your past love, try to keep an open mind and understand that everyone is different.
3. Finding Love Again is A Long Tiresome Process
Dating is definitely a tough process, and will likely consist of many highs and lows. It also requires much effort, where your emotions may be taken on a ride. Past the age of 40, you may feel like it doesn’t feel worth it to have to put so much effort into dating when you’re not even sure if it’ll end up well. Well, dating is a process, and you should try to enjoy it as you cruise along. Let things flow forward as they may, and the right one may come when you least expect it.
4. If the Man is Not Perfect, I Don’t Want to Waste My Time
Let’s face it: the chances of having a Mr. Right walk into your life are very slim once you reach your forties. To increase your chances of finding a good guy, you’re going to have to put yourself out there in the dating scene! The more men you encounter, the more likely the right one will come along.
5. He Isn’t As Good as My Girlfriends
You shouldn’t be comparing your dates to your girlfriends! If you do so, then you’re holding the wrong expectations towards your men. Most men will never reach the same level of empathy and understanding that your close girlfriends have, but it doesn’t mean that the right man will not be able to add any value to your life.
6. Most Men Out There Are Liars, Cheaters, and Players
It’s true that many men out there are as bad as you might imagine them to be. Yet, there are many more good guys who are the total opposite; those who have good morals and wonderful mature mindsets. One good thing is that you’re more likely to find mature men the older you get because a man past forty will have experienced enough in life to be ready for a real, mature relationship. Hence, stop generalizing men to be bad, and open your eyes wide to find quality partners out there.
7. I’ll Never Find Someone Interesting Enough
Many women who think this way don’t even bother meeting men at all! If you get active enough in the dating game, you’ll realize that this is certainly not true. Another thing to note is that most nice gentlemen can appear “uninteresting”; think good mannerisms and respectful conversations. When you compare such behavior to bad guys who can be unpredictable and mysterious, this does make the latter group of men more “interesting”.
8. I Can’t Find Any Single Men Where I Live
Statistics show that 50% of adult Americans are not married, so it is likely that there are good, single men available near you, but you’ll just have to open your eyes wider. Cast your net wider too; relationships can definitely still work out no matter the distance.
9. Men Today Don’t Look For A Relationship
Generalizations without substance like this are foolish! Some men may seem to not be interested in a relationship, only because they’re lying to themselves the same way that you are too. There are plenty of men out there who could have the same goal in finding love as you do! A way to find out if a guy is serious, is to take note of the way he talks about his future plans. A guy who is more serious to settle will likely convey that in his words and mannerisms too.
10. I Don’t Have the Time to Date
This is a recurring statement among single working adults. While it’s good to be productive in your career and spend your leisure time hanging out with your close friends; you need to set aside some time out of your busy schedule if you want to create the opportunity for yourself to find love. If you find it hard to do that, then maybe you need to realize that love is not a priority for you at the moment.
If you’re serious about finding love again, it’s essential that you let go of these lies. Perhaps you can try online dating after 40. After all, it will give you more chances to meet new people. While the dating process is one that requires much effort and time, it will all be worthwhile in the end when you find the right man to spend the rest of your life with. Keep your head up, and love will come knocking sooner or later!