20 Old-Timey Insults That Will Make You LOL

Insults have been around for as long as human beings have been communicating with one another. Throughout history, people have used language to express their disdain for others, often in creative and colorful ways. In this blog post, we will explore some of the old-timey insults that were popular in various cultures and time periods.

1. Thou art a fustilarian!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe someone who was full of hot air and had a tendency to talk a lot without saying anything of substance. The word “fustilarian” literally means “a person who carries a long staff,” but it was also used to describe someone who was foolish or worthless.

2. You are a ninnyhammer!

This insult was popular in the 17th century and was used to describe someone who was foolish or stupid. The word “ninnyhammer” is derived from the word “ninnies,” which was a slang term for fools.

3. You are a dandyprat!

This insult was popular in the 18th century and was used to describe someone who was foolish or inexperienced. The word “dandyprat” is derived from the word “dandy,” which was a term used to describe a fashionable and well-dressed man, and the word “prat,” which was a slang term for a buttock.

4. You are a flapdragon!

This insult was popular in the 17th century and was used to describe someone who was a braggart or a liar. The word “flapdragon” was also used to describe a game in which people would try to snatch raisins out of a bowl of flaming brandy.

5. Thou art a mewling quim!

This insult was popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and was used to describe a woman who was whiny or complaining. The word “mewling” means “crying or whimpering,” while “quim” is a slang term for the female genitalia.

6. Thou art a loggerheaded knave!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe someone who was stubborn or slow-witted. The word “loggerheaded” literally means “having a head like a log,” while “knave” was a term used to describe a dishonest or unscrupulous man.

7. Thou art a pox-marked harpy!

This insult was popular in the 17th century and was used to describe a woman who was considered to be unattractive or undesirable. The word “pox” refers to a sexually transmitted disease, while a “harpy” was a mythical creature that was half-woman and half-bird and was said to be vicious and unappealing.

8. Thou art a goatish codpiece!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe a man who was lecherous or lascivious. The word “goatish” refers to the behavior of a male goat during mating season, while a “codpiece” was a garment worn by men that covered their genitals.

9. Thou art a bedswerver!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe someone who was unfaithful to their spouse or partner. The word “bedswerver” literally means “someone who swerves from their bed,” or someone who cheats on their partner.

10. Thou art a pribbling, prattling knave!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe someone who was talkative and gossipy. The word “pribbling” means “talking nonsense,” while “prattling” means “talking incessantly without saying anything of importance. “Knave” was once again used to describe a dishonest or unscrupulous man.

11. Thou art a lickspittle!

This insult was popular in the 17th century and was used to describe someone who was overly eager to please and would do anything to gain favor with others. The word “lickspittle” refers to someone who would lick the spittle (saliva) off of another person’s shoes in order to gain their favor.

12. Thou art a jolt-head!

This insult was popular in the 18th century and was used to describe someone who was dull-witted or slow. The word “jolt-head” refers to someone who has been hit on the head so many times that they are now slow and dim-witted.

13. Thou art a braggart and a liar!

This insult was popular in many different time periods and cultures and was used to describe someone who boasted about their accomplishments or abilities, but was actually lying or exaggerating. This insult is still used today, although it may not be considered as “old-timey” as some of the others on this list.

14. Thou art a cod-eyed flap-dragon!

This insult was popular in the 17th century and was used to describe someone who was foolish or ridiculous. The word “cod-eyed” refers to someone who has bulging, fish-like eyes, while “flap-dragon” was once again used to describe someone who was a braggart or a liar.

15. Thou art a haggard!

This insult was popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and was used to describe a woman who was unattractive or looked old before her time. The word “haggard” originally referred to a wild falcon that was caught after it had already reached adulthood, and thus was difficult to train.

16. Thou art a popinjay!

This insult was popular in the 16th century and was used to describe someone who was vain or conceited. The word “popinjay” refers to a parrot or other brightly-colored bird that was kept as a pet and was often trained to repeat phrases.

17. Thou art a fopdoodle!

This insult was popular in the 18th century and was used to describe someone who was foolish or incompetent. The word “fopdoodle” is believed to have originated from the German word “Foppen,” which means “to deceive” or “to dupe.”

18. Thou art a milksop!

This insult was popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and was used to describe a man who was weak or effeminate. The word “milksop” refers to a piece of bread that has been soaked in milk, and was used to describe a man who was considered to be soft or weak.

19. Thou art a scurvy knave!

This insult was popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and was used to describe someone who was dishonest or untrustworthy. The word “scurvy” refers to a disease that was common among sailors, while “knave” was once again used to describe a dishonest or unscrupulous man.

20. Thou art a giglet!

This insult was popular in the 16th and 17th centuries and was used to describe a woman who was flirtatious or flighty. The word “giglet” refers to a young girl who is lively and flirtatious, and was often used to describe women who were considered to be promiscuous or unchaste.

In conclusion, insults have been a part of human communication for centuries, and people have always found creative and colorful ways to express their disdain for others. Old-timey insults may sound funny or strange to us today, but they were once the height of wit and cleverness. They often reflected the cultural values and beliefs of their time, and were used to reinforce social norms and hierarchies. Some of these insults may still be used today, although they may be considered archaic or outdated.