It’s easy to get swept up in the early stages of a relationship. The butterflies, the constant texting, the marathon phone calls—it’s all so exciting! But before you start picking out china patterns, it’s important to make sure that what you’re feeling is actually love and not just infatuation. Here are five signs that he’s infatuated with you and not actually in love.
1. He’s always around… like, really always around
If you feel like you can’t turn around without bumping into him, that’s a sign that he’s infatuated with you. An infatuated guy will want to be around you as much as possible in order to soak up every last bit of your attention. He may even start showing up at places where he knows you’ll be without being invited. This level of clinginess can be flattering at first, but it can quickly become suffocating.
2. He texts constantly… but his texts lack substance
Infatuated guys tend to fall into the trap of thinking that quantity equals quality when it comes to texting. They’ll send you good morning texts, check-in texts, “thinking of you” texts, and goodnight texts—but they won’t necessarily have anything meaningful to say when you actually start talking. If his texts read more like a running commentary than an actual conversation, it’s a sign that he’s more infatuated with the idea of you than he is with who you actually are.
3. He moves too fast
When a guy is infatuated with you, he’ll want to move the relationship along as quickly as possible. He may pressure you to meet his parents or spend the night at his place after only a few weeks of dating. While there’s nothing wrong with taking things slow, if he’s pushing for a level of intimacy that makes you uncomfortable, it’s a sign that he’s more interested in getting physical than getting to know you on a deeper level.
4. His compliments feel superficial
Infatuated guys tend to focus on surface-level qualities rather than qualities that actually matter in the long run. So instead of telling you that he loves your sense of humor or your intelligence, he’ll tell you how pretty you are or how great your hair looks today. While there’s nothing wrong with complimenting your appearance, if that’s all he ever has to say about you, it’s a sign that he hasn’t really taken the time to get to know you as a person.
5. You don’t have much in common
Infatuated guys will often pursue women who they think are out of their league—women who are smarter, funnier, and more successful than they are. And while there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone who challenge us, if there isn’t anything else holding the relationship together, it won’t last long-term.
An infatuated guy may not be able to see past your looks or your accomplishments long enough to realize that you don’t have much else in common—but eventually, those superficial qualities will lose their luster and the relationship will fizzle out entirely.
In conclusion, If you’re wondering whether the new guy in your life is actually in love or just infatuated with you, these five signs should help clear things up. From always being around to moving too fast physically and emotionally, infatuated guys tend to wear their feelings on their sleeve—and those feelings usually aren’t love. So if your gut is telling you that something isn’t quite right, trust yourself and move on before things get too complicated (or too painful).