You’ve met this amazing guy, you get along so well, you really like him and he really likes you too. You introduce him to your friends but soon you start to realize that they just can’t stand each other. What do you do in “my boyfriend hates my best friend” situation and how do you fix it?
Surprisingly, this is a very common scenario often discussed at DoULike.com. We have prepared a list of important questions you should ask yourself to figure out how to approach this situation. Let’s see what solution might be appropriate for you.
1. How long have you known your friends?
We get accustomed to lots of things including the negative behaviors of our friends. And sometimes it’s very useful to have a second opinion on the circle of the closest people around you. When you’ve been friends with some people for a long time, you might not notice their questionable actions and toxic patterns. So if your boyfriend doesn’t like your friends and communicates his feelings in a respectful way, you might want to re-evaluate your circle and try to look critically at what you see. Your boyfriend’s perspective can become an eye-opening revelation for you, but only if his opinion about them is coming from the right place.
2. Maybe somebody is jealous?
That’s what we mean by the judgment coming from the right place. It’s great if your boyfriend actually manages to spot the negativity and tries to protect you from the wrong influence that your friends are making on you. However, he might not like your friends because he simply feels jealous. Similarly, they may act hostile towards him because they feel jealous too. If this is the case, you need to make sure that you spend enough time just with your friends and just with your boyfriend.
3. Do your friends also happen to be your exes?
The opinions about the friendship between man and woman are polar-opposite. You might be the kind of person who can really move on and stay friends with the people you have been very intimate with, which is great. However, you don’t know your boyfriend’s experience with friendships like this. If he has his reasons not to trust the intentions of your exes, you can’t blame him. Just have an honest conversation and see what you can do about this situation.
4. Do your friends like you as a couple?
If your friends don’t like your boyfriend either, chances are he is not the kind of guy you think he is. The truth is, when early in the relationships, people sometimes blindly in love with their partner. They tend to justify, ignore, or fail to notice even the most obvious flaws in the behavior of another person. This is very much due to the relationship attachment style. So if your friends don’t like you as a couple, talk to them about it. What are the reasons behind their negative opinion? Maybe they notice something about him that you can’t see. A little reality check won’t hurt.
5. Who do you spend more time with?
How much time do you spend with your boyfriend and with your friends? Maybe he just wants to get more of your attention so he perceives your friends as a danger that’s taking you away from him. If this is the case, you might want to spend more time with your boyfriend ‒ just the two of us. See if he changes his opinion about your friends once he feels more secure about your feelings towards him.
In answer to the question whether it’s ok that your boyfriend and your friends don’t get along ‒ it depends. This could be just a phase, and if you have recognized yourself in some of the scenarios listed above, that’s a good sign. It means you can solve your problem by changing your attitude here and there. Hopefully, you’ll manage to find a way out of this uneasy situation without making any dramatic sacrifices.