Science: Today’s Pop Music All
Sounds The Same

Cranky old people, rejoice! After studying more than half a million songs released since 1955, researches in Spain have found that modern pop music is more simplistic, similar, and loud than it used to be. The researchers described some of what they found as the “progressive homogenization of the musical discourse.” Translated from the Egghead, that means “Today’s sh*t all sounds the same.”

Specifically, chord progressions have become more simplistic. Instrumentation has become far less diverse. And yes, Grandpa is right — recorded pop music is now engineered to sound louder, which means that it’s more difficult to hear individual sounds and notes when you’re listening to the music. The 847th time Justin Bieber yelps “baby” in his song “Baby,” it sounds totally different, but you’d never know it.

What’s to be done? Not much. As long as there are teenagers, there’ll be terrible pop music — and by the way, get off our lawn! — but at least you can still find plenty of new old music to enjoy. And just because something is old and has interesting chord changes and instrumentation — bagpipes, for instance — doesn’t mean it’s not loud …