Why a Full Moon Screws Up Your Sleep

So many things can screw up your sleep schedule. Snoozing with a TV or laptop on can keep you up and, no joke, make you depressed. Drinking booze before bed screws with your REM cycles. And as if the full moon doesn’t cause enough problems what with the bloodthirsty werewolves it unleashes once a month, a new study claims that a full moon can also keep you tossing and turning instead of sleeping.

Swedish researchers monitored 33 volunteers, keeping them, ahem, in the dark about the moon’s cycle during their stay in a sleep lab. When a full moon was out — though not necessarily visible — the subjects took longer to fall asleep and slept an average of 19 fewer minutes than when there was a new moon (the first phase of the moon).

What does this tell us? One, that lunar cycles may effect mood or mental astuteness. Two, that it’s about time the U.S. gets its act together and blows up that goddamned moon once and for all.