Win Back Your Ex Using Science, Nerds!

sex stats 2015

First off, getting back together with an ex might be a horrible idea. Science has already told us that. However, for those of you insist that your relationship is worth salvaging — and it always seems like it is when the wound is still fresh — here’s why you’re wrong, according to researchers at Kansas State University:

While certain research shows that getting back to relationships that have broken up, may not be the best solution. For example, the carried out a study of “cyclical relationships” showed that couples who break up and then get back together frequently experience big problems.

Both partners tend to think that the other has improved or changed in some way. It was noted that these reunited couples end up not discussing these problems or decisions, simply because they like to believe that the old problems have disappeared for good. In fact, the research shows that people who got back together have exhibited the following:

  • Their communication gets worse.
  • Decisions that are bad for the relationship are more frequent.
  • They are generally less pleased with their relationship.
  • They have lower self-esteem.
  • They are generally less pleased with their relationship.

So it does not look good. Still hopeful? That’s fine because that same study also yielded these encouraging results:

  • 1 out of 5 married couples had gone through a breakup and then got back together at some point in the past.
  • 1 in 3 couples who lived together had also got back together after splitting up.

Nearly half of adults between the ages of 17 and 24 have recently got back together with an ex, according to a study by the Journal of Adolescent Research. Again, it’s something slim to latch onto, but it’s there. The obvious point — young relationships are more prone to breakdown and renewal. It shows that people are maturing rapidly at that particular age, hence relationship problems are overcome simply thanks to natural growth.

These might help … at least a little bit …


Emote More

When she finally allows you to contact her — or you feel up to it — don’t try to play the role of the gruff badass who never feels anything. Don’t go in expecting to unload all of your problems or tell her how you’ve cried for days on end, but if the conversation veers into your relationship explain how you felt and how you’re feeling. Who knows, your openness may be appealing to her, or she might do something that pisses you off and makes you realize being apart isn’t such a bad thing.

Quit Lying

Please don’t make us explain this one. Don’t be a boner — be honest, or get lost.

Become  a Problem Solver

Instead of bitching about how awful she was/is, see if you can pinpoint any areas in which you can better yourself or find someone who will complement your wants. After some thought, you might come to the conclusion that you’re the problem. If not, find the root and start problem-solving from there.

Unhappy coupleLet Go of the Past

If shit went down — cheating, horrible insults hurled at each other, you happened to hook up with her twin sister, etc. — you both have to move past it and not consider the topic in the chamber ready to fire whenever an argument breaks out. Time usually can heal these types of things if people are to gravitate back toward each other, but sometimes nothing can fix what’s broken. If that’s the case, be sad about it for a little bit, mourn what’s lost, then pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on keeping on.