25 Things The Princess Bride Taught Us
The Princess Bride came out 25 years ago this month. It taught us to never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line — and a whole lot more.
By ModernMan Editors
Despite its extremely unpromising name, The Princess Bride features funny dialog, compelling action, an engaging story, and Andre the Giant. Plus, it’s one of those rare movies that sort of, kind of qualifies as a rom com without being absolutely terrible (i.e., you can watch it with your girlfriend and you’ll both be happy). The Princess Bride is 25 years old this year, and this is what we learned from it.
1. When it comes to fencing duels, Wesley Snipes knows his stuff: Always bet on black.
2. A chick has to be pretty hot to carry off the name Buttercup.
3. The porn ‘stache has been around a long, long time.
4. A guy who’s devoted his entire life to avenging the horrifying murder of his father will probably have a drinking problem.
5. Respond to a woman’s requests with “As you wish,” and you’ll eventually get in her pants.
6. A good sleeper hold always works.
7. Don’t skimp on the budget for gigantic rat suits.
8. Mostly dead is also slightly alive.
9. If you have an unbeatable advantage, yet insist on making it a fair fight, you may be a gigantic simpleton.
11. Wheelbarrows really fly under the radar, but boy are they useful.
12. If your lady is about to plunge a dagger through her heart, you might want to stop her before the dagger is actually pointed at her heart.
13. Lt. Frank Columbo had range.
14. We are terrible rope climbers.
15. If you kill a dude’s dad, you’d better watch your back. Forever.
16. Grandpas are terrible drivers, but good storytellers.
17. If a woman describes your eye color as “like the sea after a storm,” it’s pretty much in the bag.
18. If we had a sixth finger, we would definitely cut it off with a meat cleaver.
19. Not even flaming-pirate attacks can make a wedding ceremony interesting.
20. Andre the Giant, The Rock, Jesse Ventura, and Roddy Piper are the best pro-wrestlers-turned-actors, not necessarily in that order.
21. “Life is pain … anyone who says differently is selling something.”
22. Strength hurts, speed kills.
23. Swamps suck.
24. We need to watch Morons From Outer Space again.
25. Dumping iocane powder in a guy’s drink seems like a pretty humane way to kill him.