9 Ways The World Might End
Harold Camping has once again claimed the end of the world is here. He’s a professional nutjob, but there’s no denying the world’s gonna end someday.
By Ben Conoley
Harold Camping is at it again. The old coot who caused an uproar last May with his prediction that the world was coming to an end and then was shocked — shocked! — that god hadn’t come through for him is now completely 100 percent certain that today is the day the world will end! Okay … the day the world might end.
Even the mentally ill have stopped listening to Camping’s predictions, and the notion that the world might end isn’t in question. It’ll happen sometime, whether it’s due to a nuclear war, disease, alien invasion, Terminator 2-style cyborg attack — or something really implausible.
WE TURN INTO ZOMBIES
Mad Cow Disease attacks a cow’s spinal cord and basically turns it into a staggering milk bag. And if humans eat those angry cows their brain tissue might develop holes and take on a sponge-like texture. The fatal brain condition is called Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease. Some worry the disease’s composition will change and become transmittable by casual or sexual contact, and instead of dying we’ll turn into zombies with horrible posture and hygiene.
Sounds dumb, right? Well last year the Center for Disease Control and Prevention published a zombie survival guide (seriously). While most of it was preemptive strategy for any emergency situation and a propaganda tool for how disaster-ready the CDC is, it unfortunately encouraged all the people who won’t shut the hell up about zombies.