Whether you call yourself chunky, hefty, husky, big-boned, or just plain fat, you still want to look good, right? Right. Now, what you wear won’t help you get thinner — unless it’s a rubber suit and you do a few laps in a sauna — but what you wear can help you look thinner. (And while you’re at it, make some healthy (but delicious) food and get some exercise.) We asked some people who help dress large dudes for some tips on how to look thinner without going on a celery diet, and these are the tips they gave us.
1. Choose Your Patterns Wisely
Vertical lines draw people’s eyes up and down, which will make you look taller by emphasizing length. Horizontal lines do the opposite. (Sorry, this does not mean drawing a checkerboard pattern on your schlong will make it look both longer and thicker.) Also, avoid clothing with large prints or patterns; they tend to make people look heavier.
2. Buy The Size That Fits
If that’s an XXXL, so be it — shoehorning your way into a smaller size won’t make you look good. However, also make sure you don’t go too baggy. Men in general tend to wear clothes that are too big, and in addition, bigger guys may think loose clothing hides their girth. But it doesn’t — it emphasizes it. So wear whatever fits best, and be a big guy who dresses well instead of a big guy in a T-shirt tent.
3. Use Distractions
Collared shirts and V-neck tops — subtle ones, not ones that plunge halfway to your belly button — can take attention away from your midsection and make your torso appear longer.
4. Consider Manx
Manx ($60) are Spanx — compression clothing — for men. Yes, they’re real, and yes, the V-neck, tank top, or crew-neck undershirts will help you look slimmer. (Pretty much any woman you see in a tight-fitting dress, even if she’s a celebrity who’s in great shape, is wearing Spanx underneath.) Unfortunately, if you’re more than 50 or 60 lbs. overweight, Manx won’t help.
5. Wear Two-Button Blazers
Two-button blazers give the impression that the torso is longer, so you look taller. Steer clear of one- and three-button blazers; the former are fairly fashion forward (though if that’s your style, go ahead) and the latter work best for tall, trim dudes.