Finding the right person for you can be very tricky. Most of us probably went through a time when we thought we were already with the right one, but it turns out we were wrong. In fact, some people don’t even try finding the right person for them anymore because of the bad shots they’ve had with their past lovers, as if they’ve had enough. But the thing is, do we really have to try hard just to find the right one? As Gina Hendrix, a well-known matchmaker, had said, ‘When you know, you know.’
How do we really find the right partner? Let’s start with ourselves. Let’s stop focusing on finding Mr. and Mrs. Right, and start looking after ourselves first. Let’s hit it with these tips below:
- Know What You Want
We as individuals have our own wants and needs. But if you find yourself compromising your needs or wants all the time just to fit in with the person in front of you, then they’re not the one. Even if you tell yourself that, ‘It’s alright, you’ve found a middle ground,’ the time will come when you’ll feel drained at the end of the day because you never really got what you wanted. You unknowingly exhausted yourself simply by adjusting to your partner’s needs that you forgot to take care of your own.
The same goes for your partner. Let’s say you already know what you want. But what about the person you’re dating? Are they getting the needs they want for themselves, too? If not, then it’s simple—you’re not the right person for each other. It’s not enough that you care for them, but you must also make sure that both your needs are met.
- Create Your Own Unique Vibe
What vibe do you wear every day? Or in more familiar terms, what’s your personality? Whatever that is, show it and don’t hide it. The right person will match that unique vibe you’re creating. Then, you might find yourselves laughing at each other’s jokes, agreeing over the same stuff, dancing to the same music, getting cozy on the same weather that you both love. Nothing is more beautiful than finding a person who really matches with your personality and vibe. And in order to find that person, you have to show the real you. Never change yourself to please another.
- Be Honest With Your Flaws And Shortcomings
Of course, none of us is perfect. No one is flawless and there’s no need for you to deny and hide that as well. This is also where honesty comes in. It feels so good to be honest about ourselves, including the flaws we may have. And the best part is that finding a person who loves you for your entirety is priceless. They accept you for who you are and even find beauty in the things that you thought are unattractive about you.
The same is true for us: when we love a person, we look past their flaws and accept them as a whole. Isn’t that just amazing? So, don’t sweat on your flaws. The right person will love these flaws just as they love you.
- Build Yourself Up, As Well As Your Own Dreams And Goals
As mentioned since the beginning, we need to look after ourselves first—and that includes getting your life in order. Focus on chasing your dreams and goals. Build yourself up not to attract a partner, but do it to improve yourself. It’s even better because it means you don’t need to have someone rescue you and help you in building yourself up. You don’t have to depend on someone before you can reach for your dreams. By the time you’ve found the right one, you’re whole and are independent.
- Let It Go
Last but not least, simply let it go. Stop fretting over finding the right person. Many people have the tendency to make relationships and ‘finding the one’ the center of their life that, even up to this day, they haven’t found the one at all. That’s because the more you keep chasing after this ideal partner, the more you dart attention away from yourself, leading you to neglect your needs. Rather, focus on the things that gives you joy and life. Focus on your other relationships—with your family, and friends. Focus on feeling good about yourself without having someone else to prove it to you. When you focus on yourself, it will keep your life balanced. It’s often the case that the more you try to find something or someone, the more that they’d elude you.
Life is simply unpredictable. You’d never know when you’ll find the right one. You might find them during your lowest times, or during the times when you’re at your best. You may find the right person when you least expect it. If not the right love partner, maybe you can check some signs here on finding your platonic soulmate instead. But to simplify this all, whatever happens, make sure that you’re showing your authentic self, so that whatever and whoever life throws at you, you’d never lose yourself.