It’s 2020, yet some persistent sexuality taboos refuse to die! While we’ve made serious progress towards crafting a notion of sex that’s more diverse and pleasurable for everyone involved, some intimacy areas are still not spoken about or they’re linked to a specific stigma.
The topic of male sex toys is one still surrounded by secrecy and even widespread disapproval.
The use of sex toys by women has pretty much become the norm. In fact, 65 percent of US women confirm they own sex toys. Manly men, however, are supposed to get it on without any additional stimulation. That’s a harmful taboo preventing many guys from discovering all exciting aspects of their sexuality.
Sex toys for men are even more controversial than sex toys for couples in the eyes of some guys. The misconceptions about those stem from outdated notions of masculinity and a really poor understanding of male sexuality. So, it’s time to set the record straight.
Why Is There Still Shame?
Whether you’re buying a fleshlight or some male dildos, there will probably be some shame and embarrassment linked to the experience. Why is this so?
Going back in history can reveal some interesting information on the topic.
Women’s use of vibrators is celebrated as a sign of sexual liberation, a sign of being proud of one’s femininity. This is also the reason why numerous media praise ladies interested in sex toys, provide tips and suggestions for the more creative use of such bedroom gadgets/accessories.
Society, however, labels male sex toys in a completely different way.
There’s an unwritten assumption that male sex toys are gay. This is why most men don’t own sex toys at all. Even the ones that do, wait until a later life period to start experimenting with everything that the adult toy market has to offer.
Numerous heterosexual men confirm that they’re worried about being labelled gay if they gave prostate massagers or dildos a try.
Historically, gay men have been free to explore their sexuality and express it in any way they like as they already are a marginalized group. They had to fight for their sexual liberation and the movement, in a sense, resembles the female sexual revolution.
Straight men haven’t had such a powerful movement aimed at unleashing different forms of sexual self-expression. One heterosexual norm has been adopted and that’s pretty much what everyone is anticipated to stick to.
Toxic masculinity is also to blame.
“Real” men don’t need props or toys to get sexual gratification. If you need props and supplies to make sex better, there’s obviously something wrong with you.
These two notions have worked together in powerful ways to keep most heterosexual men from exploring the fun world of sex toys. Luckily, times are changing. There’s a notable shift towards the promotion of male sex toys. As manufacturers are starting to pay more attention towards the male demographic, the normalization of such items will become inevitable.
Making Male Sex Toys Mainstream One Step at a Time
Many guys imagine dolls in connection to male sex toys. That’s it, they’re not aware of all the other amazing options.
Male sex toys, however, are beginning to get diversified. Chances are you’ll find something that tickles your fancy, no matter what your preferences are.
Fleshlights are an obvious choice but there are also prostate massagers, penis rings, vibrating strokers, vibrating anal toys, pegging toys and many others.
If you’re reluctant or worried about introducing a sex toy to your routine (whether solo or with a partner), the trick would be to go slow. Something more comfortable and traditional like a fleshlight will be a good start. As you get more accustomed to this new experience, you can move on to something else that’s exciting but that you would have never tried otherwise.
Here are a few additional steps that could help end the taboo.
Talk about it
Anyone who has a partner and who’s interested in sex toys should talk about it. The more open we are in our sexual communication, the more normalized products like adult toys will become.
Talking to other guys about sex toy use is also a good idea, although you’ll need to muster the courage to initiate the dialogue. Once you do, you’ll probably find out that you’re not the only one interested.
Understand the ridiculousness of the stigma
Why are female vibrators acceptable and what’s wrong with sex toys for men?
Sit down and have a discussion with your inner voice. Why are you so opposed to giving sex toys a try? Is there an actual reason or have you been conditioned by society to think a certain way?
Once you analyze your behavior and your decisions, you’ll probably find out that they stem from some kind of stereotype and not from a deep-rooted, important personal belief.
Think about all the benefits
Using a sex toy, whether on your own or with a partner, can give you so many benefits to enjoy.
There’s the diversity and the new sensations you’ll get to experience.
Sex toys also build intimacy and trust in a relationship.
When using adult toys, you can discover new aspects of your sexuality and ways that you like to be pleased. Sex will become much more multi-dimensional than what you are already used to.
Finally, there are numerous psychological and health benefits. Good sex is obviously healthy. Prostate massages enhance your sexual health. And these advantages are just the start of a healthier happier life.
Challenging societal notions and widespread beliefs is not easy.
You will have to go against the current, especially if you live in a more conservative and traditional community.
Still, your desires and needs are valid. You deserve sexual gratification in any way you deem appropriate.
It’s only a matter of time for male sexual toys to become mainstream. Don’t hesitate to explore the options now. Even if you don’t go any further, you are still making a wonderful step in the right direction.